The Long and Winding Road
by pussycatwithattitude
Summary: When Anna receives news of her family a week after Bates is released, husband and wife must face another hurdle in yet another chapter of their lives, only this time with a six-year-old in tow.
1. Prologue

**A/N: **This has been in the works for quite a while now, but I feel like I have enough to start posting. Thank you very much to **TestShip** who reads through these chapters for me and gives me pointers, you're awesome. It's set in Series 3 but will go AU from there, so no spoilers for Series 4. I hope you enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Downton Abbey, anything you recognise here will most likely belong to Julian Fellowes etc etc.

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**The Long and Winding Road**

**Prologue**

Anna felt as though she still existed in a haze of bliss. The lady's maid assumed that this must be what all new wives felt like after their wedding day and night, the weeks of her heart leaping whenever he turned the corner, the butterflies that erupted every time they kissed and, mostly, the desire she felt every time they touched. Her husband was finally back after eighteen months wrongly imprisoned for murder, and now she felt as though she could settle into their new life together. She had once observed the happiness – the elation – between Lady Mary and Mr Matthew on their honeymoon in France. All of the secret glances, the small smiles and the amount of time spent in their hotel bedroom all came rushing back to her as she realised that _this is how she would have felt_.

Although regretfully, the part about spending time in their bedroom had yet to arrive for them.

The cottage Lord Grantham had once promised them was being arranged. Lord Grantham had thankfully brought up the offer moments after seeing Bates upon his return to Downton, meaning that John had not needed to start that conversation. But, nevertheless, there was no cottage yet and rules below stairs deemed them unfit to share a bedroom. Yet, Anna could hardly blame Mr Carson or Mrs Hughes for putting John back in his old room, and leaving her in her own. It was likely never to have even crossed their minds to have put the married couple together, although that did not stop their hearts sinking when Mr Carson had announced that wonderful morning that one of the hall boys should take Mr Bates' things back to his old room. They had shared a brief, mournful glance, but that was all it had been until seeking each other out later that day, a time when they could speak alone. Both of them knew, and agreed, that being _together _was unthinkable at the moment – they respected their superiors, and the unwavering support and faith they had given recently, to ever go behind their backs in such a manner. But that did not stop the couple reacquainting themselves with each other in other ways, spending stolen moments in the courtyard on an evening or going on long evening walks in the extensive grounds on offer.

But despite their separate rooms, the prospect of living together as man and wife, as well as keeping their respective jobs at the house, left the two of them reeling in happiness. And they were eager to begin with the rest of their lives. They had been to visit the cottage on John's second day back – the family giving Anna some time off as well to spend some well-deserved time with her husband, although much to the chagrin of two certain members of staff – and Anna and John had both stood outside, waiting for the day when they would move in. He had kissed her outside the cottage, yielding a new promise for their future now that it was close enough to reach out and grasp.

Anna was sat outside now, a week after John had been released, taking advantage of the rare warm weather in Yorkshire which seemed to have also crossed the mind of another servant as a table had been brought outside to work on. Anna was finishing some mending of Lady Mary's that had slipped her mind the past couple of days, one of the feathers having come loose from one of her pretty hats. Her work had her so engrossed that she failed to notice her husband joining her outside, only turning around when she felt his shoulder brush against hers as he took a seat beside her.

"Hello," Anna smiled as she turned around, smiling lazily. Just being able to cast her eyes upon him in these surroundings had become a welcome to Anna, not having to look at him in the dark, dirty surroundings of the prison anymore left Anna extremely grateful that they were finally here.

Anna quickly checked that no one had followed him outside and, seeing that the coast was clear, she leant forward and pressed her lips to his promptly, the kiss lasting little more than a second or two.

John, however, found it no less pleasing. The corners of his lips rose into a smile, one of those that reached his eyes and made the skin around them contort and wrinkle. Anna had vowed she would commit as many of these occasions to memory as she could, and also vowed to be their cause.

"What was that for?"

"Can a wife not be pleased to see her husband?" Anna teased back.

"I certainly can't argue with that," Bates smiled back, leaning forward to catch her lips once more.

Anna giggled as his lips teased hers further, however upon hearing the back door close noisily, they drew apart promptly, only to find that Miss O'Brien had joined them outside. It seemed that, while their kiss had not been detected, their closeness still owed a scowl from their fellow colleague.

"I see we'll all have to be on our guard in the future," O'Brien commented nastily, lighting a cigarette.

"It sounds as though you're jealous," Anna retorted quickly.

Miss O'Brien scoffed. "I'm not jealous." She took a drag on her cigarette, leaning back against the wall, and Anna turned her nose away with a scowl. The smell had never been pleasant to her.

Bates, who had now sat down beside Anna, was attempting to keep a straight face by looking ahead. Occasionally, out of the corner of his eye he would look at Anna, priding himself in the firm stance that she took with the woman who had loathed him since he had first arrived all those years ago. Her strength had to be one of the many attributes that he admired, and loved, about her character. Had it not been for this strength, he feared the two of them may never have accepted their love for each other in the beginning, and he would certainly not have been released from prison when he had been. Bates decided that he must thank his lucky stars for either Mr or Mrs Smith who in doubt passed such redeeming attributes to their daughter. It only saddened him to realise that he would never meet her mother or father – her father having passed away just after Anna had taken her position here, and her mother having sadly passed during his time in prison.

"I had better leave you lovebirds to it," O'Brien scowled once more, throwing the remains of her cigarette and stamping on it briefly before heading back inside.

Her voice had caused Bates to stir from his thoughts, and as he turned his head to acknowledge her exit he caught his wife's eye again. The words slipped from his tongue before he could even comprehend them, "Alone at last."

Her lips curved upwards immediately, and Anna let out an endearing giggle as she could hardly resist closing the distance between them once more, pressing her lips to his.

"It seems you can barely keep your hands off me," Bates teased her.

"Well, we do have a _lot _of time to make up for." Anna replied seductively, moving her hands flat against his chest, causing something to stir within him.

He decided to play along. "Whatever could you mean, _Mrs Bates_?"

Anna was slowly inching closer to her husband once more, their lips perilously close to each other once more. "Perhaps I could show you sometime, _Mr Bates_."

The thrill of using their last names would never die, both thought, their minds in sync.

"I look forward to it," Bates whispered hoarsely, aware of his desire stirring at her suggestive tone.

Anna tilted her head to one side seductively, providing him with a rather bold view of her neckline, the one she remembered he had wreathed with kisses on their wedding night. Her lips were moving closer and closer once more, her objective being to give him the smallest of teasers of what was to come. Her lips had just touched the corner of his mouth when the back door could be heard opening behind them –

"Anna!"

Mrs Hughes called her, causing them both to jump apart frantically.

Bates coughed nervously as his gaze met that of Mrs Hughes, and he began to rub his neck.

Anna turned around, her face quite pink.

"Anna, a letter has just been delivered for you."

Anna would hardly have cared had it not been for the tone of concern laced into the voice of the housekeeper.

She immediately sprung to her feet, beckoning for John to follow her as she went inside after Mrs Hughes, finding Mr Carson stood in the entrance to the servants' hall, holding out a rather perilous looking letter for her.

It was addressed to Anna Bates in a hand-writing she did not recognise. Taking the envelope and turning it over, she failed to recognise the eyes of almost everyone present in the hall on her. When her eyes fell on the return address, however, her knees weakened a little.

The letter was from Claxton, and from the neighbouring address to her sister. There was also a side note, to please deliver as quickly as possible.

Her breathing became a little shaky, and from then she instantly felt the subtle reassurance of her husband's hand upon the small of her back.

Although she did not turn and thank him, she knew he would know that she appreciated his gesture. She knew him, and rarely would he ever choose to touch her affectionately, and intimately, in such a public setting. John Bates had been a stoic, reserved man since the day she met him, and rarely did he show any emotion in front of their colleagues.

Anna opened the letter slowly, unaware that everyone else was waiting for a reaction, and her lip trembled as she read the top line. It was only her name, but the overwhelming, uneasy feeling attached to the letter ensured that she knew the subject of the letter would not be a good one.

_Dear Anna,_

Anna let out a shaky breath before she continued to read, stepping back subconsciously a little into his touch.

She started again.

_Dear Anna,_

_You may not remember me, but my name is June Cowden, I live next door to your sister. We met a couple of times before, when you have visited._

_The subject of this letter is not a good one, and I regret to inform you that your sister passed away in the early hours of this morning. The doctor confirmed that it was a serious case of scarlet fever. Elizabeth stayed with us for the days when Rose was suffering the worst of it and we are also taking care of her now. We wanted her to be with familiar people. We would have sent you news of Rose's illness sooner, had it not been for the suddenness of it all. It all happened so quickly._

_Since you are Elizabeth's only surviving relative, and Godmother, we knew you would be the only one to contact. I asked that we could be the ones to inform you, just so that you know personally that she is all right. _

_I am sorry for your loss, and we hope you will be able to make the trip soon._

Anna failed to take in the rest of the letter – a few details about legal matters and such, although written with tenderness so as not to make it seem overwhelming. She took another shaky breath, her hands beginning to tremble as her eyes scanned the letter once more – a futile hope that this was all a mistake.

Elizabeth had been her one, remaining live family member. Her youngest sister, Lucy, had died at the age of three from scarlet fever too when Anna had been eight. Her father had passed away only two months after she had begun working at Downton Abbey. Her brother, Daniel, had died on the front at the Battle of the Somme – as had her sister's husband – and her mother had passed away not two months after the imprisonment of her husband.

For a moment, Anna struggled to regain her breath.

She could feel herself beginning to panic, and was ever the more grateful that her husband was gently caressing the small of her back through her uniform. It was subtle reassurance, but reassurance all the same.

However, as her mind strayed from the comforting feeling and back onto the contents of the letter, she began to feel physically sick. She could taste the bile rising up her throat, and she knew in that moment that she had to get outside.

Turning abruptly, she pushed the letter into the hands of her husband, signalling that she wanted him to read it, before rushing outside, covering her mouth.

Bates – as well as everyone else present – was visibly stunned.

However, before anyone could enquire as to the letter and its contents, Bates began to read the letter quickly. He skimmed through it at a record pace, even for a fast reader such as himself, and his heart sunk and clenched uncomfortably as he digested the words that had been carefully written.

His poor, darling Anna must be heartbroken. He closed his eyes painfully.

"Mr Bates, whatever is the matter?" Mrs Hughes asked quietly, reaching to touch his arm affectionately.

Whilst he knew that a lot of the servants here were nosy, when Bates looked up and saw the concern in the eyes of the housekeeper, he could not prevent the words from falling despairingly from his lips, "Anna's sister… She died, this morning… Scarlet fever…"

Mrs Hughes gasped quietly, knowing as much as Mr Bates that her sister had been her only other close family member. Mr Carson swallowed uncomfortably, perhaps because the covering following Lady Sybil's untimely death still hung around the house painfully. Some of the servants who had heard his words gasped quietly, even Thomas seemed a little shocked and said nothing.

"I need to… find her. I need to go and find her."

Bates turned and stumbled, heavily relying on his cane as he rushed out of the back door to find his wife.

Once outside, he scanned the courtyard thoroughly for her, his eyes eventually setting on a figure in the corner, right away from the door. She was hunched over, clenching her middle, and he could hear the sounds of her emptying her stomach contents.

Bates grimaced at her pain, but immediately rushed across to her side, ignoring his knee, bringing his hand to her back and rubbing until she had finished.

When she had, Anna turned immediately and fell into his chest, sobbing openly now.

She hiccupped, "J–John!"

He closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around her, rubbing her back, soothing her like he would a child. Barely any words were spoken from there, just a few loving, whispered words of reassurance as he kissed her hairline, her temple, her forehead…

Eventually, Anna calmed and pulled away. Her eyes were bright red and puffy, and her hands were still shaking a little. "Does everyone know?"

Bates nodded, "Yes, they heard."

Anna nodded too. "Good, I don't think I could bear telling them myself."

Bates could feel his heart shattering by the second – shards were cutting his insides painfully every time he looked into her eyes and knew he could do little, if anything, to stop her sorrow and pain.

When Anna had calmed down a little – at least enough to speak clearly – she brought up the subject of her niece, her goddaughter, "What about Lizzy… she will come and live with us. She has to, she has no one left. But the cottage, she will have to stay here. His Lordship may not allow it, Mrs Hughes might not allow it…"

Anna was beginning to panic once more. As she continued to ramble on, John took hold of her shoulders and brought her to his chest once more, silencing her worries and easing her fears.

After a few moments, he brought her back to look her in the eyes.

He reached up his right hand to cup her cheek, his left hand clasped around hers. "Anna, you know the family will support you. And the same of Mrs Hughes."

Anna nodded, aware that he was correct. But her lip still trembled. "And you?"

Bates looked at her as if she had asked the most incredulous question in the entire world and, in a way, she had.

Anna watched for his reaction, fearing that she may not receive the answers she longed for. After all, he had just been released from prison. He was most likely looking forward to months of it being just the two of them, as it should have been had it not been for the cruel twist of fate that resulted in him imprisoned. Would he want to welcome a girl into their lives that he had never met? That he was of no relation to? The situation scared Anna, because despite all of the obstacles that had blocked their road so far, there had never been one shaped quite like this.

But as she watched him, she could see nothing in his eyes but love.

"Are you mad?" Bates whispered hoarsely, squeezing her hand tightly. "Of course I will."

Anna closed her eyes, tears falling from them, and nodded, still trembling.

"Your support has been unwavering these last years," John continued softly, stroking her face with his other hand. "And I am going to be with you now, for every step."

John leant forwards and pressed a kiss to her forehead. He knew she would need to talk more about her sister at a later date, but for now she needed to sort everything in her head. She would need time, and he would give her anything she needed. He would do anything to make her life better from here on in.

Anna whispered back tearfully, her voice wobbling, "For every step."

"For every step." Bates confirmed.

* * *

**A/N (2): **I plan on updating this once a week if I can now that it's the Christmas holidays (although there's still essays, fun!). I already have quite a bit written, and all of it planned out because I really don't want to get behind with it. Please let me know what you thought about it so far.


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N: **I am finally starting to get used to calling Bates '_John_' although it still feels quite weird writing it. Anyway, thank you all so much for showing an interest in this story. I'm overwhelmed with the response, and I hope you enjoy this chapter just as much. Disclaimer is the same as the first chapter, and will be throughout the rest of the story.

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**A Long and Winding Road**

**Chapter One**

Anna was granted some time off immediately to go and settle matters with her remaining family. The family upstairs had offered their condolences, either individually in the case of Lady Mary and Mr Crawley as Anna carried out her duties and with Lord Grantham, who had come across Anna in the hallway and stopped to offer her his sympathies, or through Mrs Hughes, as was the case with Her Ladyship. Anna had somehow managed to hold back the tears as she had received such kindness, especially when Lady Mary had told her that her niece would be welcome here for as long as Anna and Bates would need.

Anna had tried to argue that the family were being too kind, but it was soon dismissed by an adamant Lady Mary, who reassured her lady's maid that had it not been for her and Mr Bates and their thoughtfulness and discretion towards her _situation _all those years ago, the family would have been thrown into scandal. And it was true, Anna had mulled over silently, acknowledging that had it not been for that situation and their loyalty towards keeping it under wraps, she and Mr Bates may have been married long before they originally had.

The night before Anna was set to travel to the village where her sister had lived, she sat silently in the servants' hall. All around her, laughter and conversation could be heard as the others partook in a card game of sorts before bed, but all Anna could focus on was her cup of tea that was beginning to become increasingly cool as the minutes passed. Jimmy had asked if Anna had wanted to be a part of the game, but she had politely refused.

It was only when a certain figure entered the room that the slightest sign of a smile swept across her face. He came into the hall and sat beside her instantly, having just finished tending to His Lordship for the night. His foot swept across her own gently, almost reaffirming his presence and his hand dropped to rest upon her thigh, just the added weight there becoming a welcome relief to Anna who had lived so long without it over the past year or so.

Anna turned and smiled at her husband, leaning her right elbow on the table.

Bates instantly studied her face, looking for any signs that would tell him that she was not _all right_. "How are you feeling?" He could not help but ask. It had become second nature to him now. The ring on her finger and the signed legal document entailed that he could ask after her welfare and it not be deemed inappropriate. Since being released from prison, he and Anna had been careful in their encounters with each other, but little could stop him from taking her hand in the hallway and giving it a gentle squeeze – most of the time to reassure her if she happened to be feeling out of sorts, but also to reassure himself that this was all real.

"Better now that you're here," Anna responded quietly, aware that Thomas would in no doubt roll his eyes at their affectionate displays and make some sarcastic comment.

As it happened, the only response she received was the one she longed for the most. Her husband was now smiling even more, the kind of smile that reached his eyes.

"And how do you feel about tomorrow?"

At this, Anna sighed.

Even the thought of tomorrow was bringing uncomfortable lurches to her insides. But, it was not so much the responsibility that tomorrow entailed. Anna was fairly confident that she could go and arrange everything; that she could go to Lizzy and maintain her usual pillar of strength. The one thing she was unsure of was being able to cope without the support of her husband.

It had been one thing to let Anna go and make the decisions for her late sister, Mrs Hughes had kindly offered to look after Lady Mary for a couple of days since Miss O'Brien still seemed scandalised at the idea of even more work on top of her own. But John had not been afforded the time off to go with Anna. Anna had brushed aside his concerns and told him that it would be unfair to have left the family without both of them for a couple of days, and he had only just returned to carrying out his duties a few days before even when His Lordship had insisted that he could have more time to rest. She had reiterated that it _would_ only be for a couple of days.

Still, he would miss her. It sounded awfully romantic, but he had gone so long without being able to see her face every day – making do with a worn photograph taken in Ripon – that now he had the opportunity to, he never wanted to lose that again. His ears had even been able to fine tune her footsteps on the stone steps of the corridors.

"I'm not too sure," Anna eventually replied, taking another sip of her now cold tea. "I can't say I know what to expect, or if she will even remember me. It has been years…"

She trailed off, and John instantly moved his hand and wrapped it around her own comfortingly.

Anna tried to smile, her lip wobbling a little as her eyes began to cloud over.

"She will," Bates responded before leaning forwards a little more, lowering his voice. "Who could ever forget a face such as perfect as yours?"

Anna giggled a little at his flirting, and whilst Thomas rolled his eyes from across the table, Miss O'Brien muttered under her breath, "Heaven help us all."

Anna shot her head around to look at the other lady's maid, but could only smile wider as she turned back to face her husband. It didn't even matter to them. Nothing anyone could say would spoil their moments now that he was back with her again. They had both waited so long for this time to come.

So instead of retorting, Anna paid more attention to the book her husband had brought with him to the table. However, as soon as she pointed at it and was about to speak, a loud yawn escaped her lips, one which she instantly covered with her hand. Anna looked a little sheepish as her husband widened his eyes in amusement, but they only turned to a tender, affectionate gaze in the space of a few seconds.

"You should head up to bed, you have a busy day tomorrow."

Anna smiled, nodded and immediately admitted defeat. She _was _tired. She had miscalculated how much she could do in a day that involved tending to Lady Mary, preparing herself for tomorrow and also relaying the necessary information to Mrs Hughes earlier that evening.

"I think I will," Anna conceded. "Good night, Mr Bates."

John smiled. "Good night, Anna." Although he was surprised that she was not going to afford him a good night kiss. His face fell a little when she bid good night to the rest of the room and made her way to the door without looking around at him again. His gaze flickered in that direction a couple of times, and just when he was going to pick up his book and begin some reading, he caught sight of her still hovering by the door.

Subtly looking up, an excited thrill coursed through his body at the suggestive look she was giving him, nodding for him to join her.

He stood up, mumbled something about tea and asking if anyone would want any. He heard a few responses, but was almost out of the hall before he could really take in their replies.

Bates instantly looked around for Anna, only to hear her calling him from the corridor to his left. He looked around, and saw that she was hovering outside one of the rooms used to press dresses and shirts for dinner upstairs, and his grin instantly widened.

"And here was me thinking you might go up without giving me a proper good night kiss," Bates teased her, moving swiftly even with his cane.

Anna backed up against the door and fumbled with the door handle, all the while keeping her eyes on her husband, a wicked grin across her face. When the door was open, she moved her hands and they both gripped the edges of his jacket, pulling him closer to her. "Then it seems you have a lot to learn, _husband_."

John could take it no longer and instantly pressed their lips together, his hands moving to her waist and hair, stroking them both eagerly. Anna backed them into the room, Bates using one of his hands to close the door behind them.

Anna continued to kiss her husband languidly, her hands moving from his jacket to mess with his hair, only too aware that he would probably go back outside and be seen in such a state of disarray. The thought made her giggle, inadvertently breaking their kiss and causing her husband to look at her curiously.

His curious gaze then turned sceptic, and Anna could not stop herself from blowing into full laughter.

John could hardly say anything, afraid that she would stop when her laughter was such music to his ears, therefore he simply pulled her into his chest, resting his chip atop of her hair. When it died down a little, he asked softly, "Anything I should be made aware of?"

He could feel her shaking her head against his chest, and even this foreign feeling made him smile. They pulled apart a few moments later, and John took a moment to admire his wife before closing the distance between their lips again, all the while running his hands up and down her sides.

Anna moaned her appreciation, her own hands exploring the vast expanse of his shoulders, her nimble fingers underneath his jacket and clawing at the fabric of his shirt.

Eventually, however, their movements ceased, both aware that neither could continue whilst here. John ended their kiss slowly, still caressing her skin softly with his lips as Anna fought to regain control of her breath. "That was some good night kiss," Anna whispered shakily.

"The first of many," John vowed as he kissed her temple lovingly. He wanted nothing more than to remain in her embrace for hours to come, but John knew that she needed as much precious sleep as she could get in order for her to survive the day tomorrow. "You should go up, your train leaves early tomorrow."

Anna sighed, letting her head drop against his chest almost stubbornly. "You're right."

"As usual," John quipped, his eyes narrowing amusedly as Anna snapped her head back up.

She retorted, "Don't be getting too ahead of yourself, Mr Bates."

His lips curved into a smile once more – in the back of his mind he recalled that he had never smiled this much before meeting Anna. They stayed in that position for a little longer before Anna finally left for bed, although not before kissing him once more.

Bates left the room with a bright smile across his face and instantly began walking towards the servants' hall, intent on fetching his book and heading to bed himself. A handful of his colleagues were still immersed in their card game, a few of the hall boys having joined them since John had left, so he rounded the table quickly and picked up his book.

Just as he was about to leave, however, Alfred spoke up and asked about the tea he had supposedly gone to make. Stammering an apology before he turned red with embarrassment, Bates continued out of the hall almost as quickly as he had entered, all the while secretly marvelling at the profound impact his wife had on him.

* * *

Bates had insisted that he escort Anna to the train station the next morning. Her train was to leave at nine o'clock so Mr Carson arranged for Thomas to dress His Lordship that morning whilst Mrs Hughes was all ready to take over from Anna's duties for the next couple of days.

Therefore, Mr and Mrs Bates found themselves at Downton train station a little before nine that morning, the former holding onto her bag insistently. Anna being Anna had argued that she could hold her own bag, but he had point blank refused.

"So, this is you," John acknowledged after having placed her bag in the third class compartment and then joining her back on the almost-empty platform.

"It is," Anna murmured, fiddling with her gloved hands, looking down at the ground.

She had been reasonably quiet that morning, understandably, and she had confided to John during their walk to the station (having refused the car) that she was nervous about what awaited her. He had stopped them for a few minutes to embrace her properly, adorning her with loving touches and kisses on the desolate path where no one would come across them.

Now, at the station, John was quite amiss at what to do. There were barely any people here, but taking her in his arms would be deemed highly inappropriate, and even if he could hardly care less about what people thought about him, he did not want people to talk about Anna in any negative way. And being caught kissing and embracing her husband on the station platform would hardly be deemed appropriate amongst village gossip.

Therefore, he did what he could, and reached forward for her hand, caressing it softly and causing her to look up into his eyes. He spoke softly, "I wish I could come with you."

Anna smiled, almost as if to say she wished for that too.

"Try not to miss me," Anna spoke fondly, and they both tenderly remembered a time where he had told her the same all those years ago.

Bates shook his head, as if to confirm that her statement was the most foolish he had ever heard, and _of course _he would miss her.

John could hear the conductor calling for them to board the train and knew Anna had to go, and after scanning the area promptly and noticing that no one was there but the man at the other end of the platform, he drew Anna quickly into his arms, moving his lips down to her ear, "Be strong, love. I will see you in a couple of days."

Anna closed her eyes, her heart singing at his term of endearment, and nodded silently.

When they drew apart, she smiled faintly. She watched as her husband tilted his head to her carriage, urging her to go before it went without her. Anna nodded and he helped her up just as the conductor came down the platform to secure all the doors.

Bates stepped back, ridding himself of his hat as he smiled at her reassuringly, as the train began to pull away, and his heart searing as he watched her give an identical response. He remained rooted to the same spot as the train began to roll away into the distance, hoping and praying that the strength Anna had carried for all the time he had known her would not leave her now when she probably needed it most.

* * *

It took Anna just under an hour to reach the nearest station to Claxton, her late sister's home village, which was York and from there it would be a short bus ride. Anna had been unable to keep still for the entire journey, constantly moving her feet, tapping them against the floor of the carriage. It was a small mercy that no one had shared the carriage with her.

As she stepped off the train at York with her bag in hand, she took a deep breath and gulped in the fresh air. It would not escape her mind that the last time she had been in York had been a momentously beautiful occasion for her husband and she, and a ghost of a smile passed her lips at the thought. The car ride to the prison that morning had been an agonisingly slow one, but to see her husband emerging through those doors had been worth all the waiting. The feel of his arms around her after being deprived of his touch for so long had lifted her heart and given her so much hope for the future.

_Thank God._

Anna was brought out of her reverie by the hustle and bustle of York station, an abundance of people cramming past her to get onto the train and complete their own personal errands. Taking another deep breath, Anna determinedly began to walk forward towards the signs for the bus station.

It did not take her long to find, and soon she was sat on a bus, having purchased a ticket, and travelling east of York and towards the small village. Having sat herself in a window seat, she experienced the pleasant sensation of the wind sweeping across her face which helped her stomach greatly. She was nervous, there was no use denying it. She had no idea what the future would bring from hereon in and that frightened her. The one, saving grace was the man at home that she knew would be by her side throughout all of this. Just the thought of him brought a smile to her lips and some colour to her cheeks.

Anna continued to think about John for the rest of the journey, contemplating their course of action over the next few weeks and thinking about the cottage they would soon be moving into. She thought back to the previous night and their encounter in one of the laundry rooms, smirking as she remembered the way he had made her feel with even the slightest of touches – wanting more. She longed for them to spend a night together soon, she was even surprised that she had not snuck through the barrier and into his bedroom at night such was the length of their time apart.

The bus jerked as it came to a stop, and a quick shout from the driver informed Anna that she had arrived.

She made her way off the bus as quickly as possible, clutching onto her bag tightly.

Once the bus had left, Anna looked around her, being accustomed to her surroundings. It was the same as she remembered, even if it had been years since she had visited her sister here. The last time must have been when her brother-in-law had been buried, he having been killed during the war. Whenever she had met her sister since, it had been in York, the two of them finding more to do there, meeting in tea rooms or window-shopping for dresses. It had been nice to spend time in a new place, and in such a beautiful city as York, and Anna adored spending time with her niece whenever she would be brought along too.

Shaking herself, Anna determinedly put one step forward and began to walk in the direction of the little cottage that had belonged to her sister. It became harder and harder the closer she got, but eventually she arrived. The cottage was not too dissimilar from those at Downton that she and John would soon live in, but her sister had spent a lot of her spare time – something that became infrequent after her husband's death when she was in need of some work, even if it was small – planting flowers at the front. The front of the cottage was adorned with red-coloured leaves, weaving over the door and around the windows. It certainly was picturesque.

Anna swallowed hard, summoning the inner courage and strength to step forward and do this.

The cottage had been left open; Anna presumed it had been the neighbour who had written having known Anna would arrive today. Anna pushed the door open, and instantly the smell hit her.

It was the familiar smell she had come to associate with her sister, and here it hung in the air so vividly. Tears threatened to spill down her cheeks instantaneously, and Anna had to swallow hard again to stop them.

But, in the end it became too difficult. The familiarity of the scene urged the tears to fall, and instead of arranging her sister's possessions, Anna was stood in the middle of the room, arms hanging loosely by her side as she cried.

She cried alone, she clutched at her stomach and she shook her head, somewhat hoping she would wake up and this would all be dream.

It wasn't.

* * *

John could hardly concentrate at Downton that day. His thoughts were on Anna completely, unequivocally. Mrs Hughes had noticed that he was not focused at all, having witnessed him coming down the stairs earlier and dropping His Lordship's shoes. But instead of reprimanding him for his language and cursing as she probably would have done usually, she beckoned him into her parlour.

"How was Anna this morning?" Mrs Hughes asked softly, insisting that Mr Bates take a seat as she poured him some tea.

"As to be expected," John replied solemnly, graciously taking the cup from Mrs Hughes. "Quiet, nervous, worried…"

"This is going to be a huge change for both of you," Mrs Hughes observed. She watched as Mr Bates nodded silently and could not help but feel sorry for the man. "You know if you ever need to talk about anything, there are people here who care about you – about both of you."

John looked up and smiled kindly at the housekeeper.

"Thank you, Mrs Hughes. Anna and I are very grateful for everything the house is doing."

It was true. Mrs Hughes had allowed for the little girl to stay at the house for the time until a cottage was arranged for the married couple, and Lady Grantham had also previously expressed her delight in helping them. John and Anna were extremely grateful at the generosity of the family and staff, without which they would have been at quite a loss as of what to do.

Mrs Hughes continued to watch Mr Bates, though. "But…"

Bates sucked in his lip subtly, placing his cup and saucer down on a small table. "I worry about her, Mrs Hughes, of course I do," he answered, smiling slightly as if to take the attention from him for a moment, the housekeeper and her intense stare becoming a little disconcerting for a man that had spent the better part of his life trying to keep the attention away from himself.

"Of course you do," she replied, her Scottish brogue prevalent more in this moment than before.

Mr Bates said no more, but Mrs Hughes watched him, the cogs beginning to turn…

* * *

Anna had spent most of the day sorting through the possessions of her sister, Rose, after she had finally managed to move from the middle of the room. There was not very much, mostly family heirlooms that had been shared between Rose and Anna after Daniel, their brother, had been killed in the war and before their mother had died. Anna would pass these ones onto Lizzy when she was old enough. Having spoken to John before she had left, he had told her that the furniture could be sold with the cottage when the time was right, therefore she did not have to worry about anything like that. She decided that Rose's clothes could be sent to charity, although she would ensure that Lizzy look through them first in case she wished to keep anything.

_Lizzy_.

Anna looked at the clock and saw that it was nearing late afternoon, and that she really should go and collect her niece from the neighbour. Her reluctance did not stem from not wanting to see her niece – she longed to – Anna was just frightened that Lizzy would barely recognise her, and if the little girl needed anything right now, it was to feel comfortable and secure.

But there was no delaying it now.

Anna walked to the cottage next door with steely determination, ready to put on the bravest face for her niece. She knocked on the cottage door and waited, hearing voices at the other side.

A lady appeared at the door, Anna assumed it was Mrs Cowden from the letter. She remembered the face from somewhere, so assumed it must have been. The older lady recognised her instantly and greeted her kindly before ushering her inside.

"Can I get you some tea?" the older lady offered. "You must be hungry, too."

Anna was being led through the cottage, the layout of which was similar to that of next door, into what she assumed was the kitchen. Mrs Cowden was right, she had barely eaten today, and her stomach was growling in protest. But she did not wish to impose, and Anna opened her mouth to protest, "Oh no, it's fine, Mrs Cowden. I can put something together later–"

"Nonsense!" Mrs Cowden admonished. "There's nothing in, and it's far too late to be going shopping. I can give you some things later for breakfast tomorrow."

Anna was about to open her mouth again and protest when her stomach let out a large groan.

The older woman, who was probably a good twenty years older than Anna, smiled knowingly when she heard and reached out to affectionately stroke the top of her arm. "Come through, please. Make yourself comfortable, Mrs… Bates now, isn't it?"

Mrs Cowden had obviously been very good friends with her sister, and Anna smiled at the use of her, still relatively new, surname.

"Yes, but please call me Anna, Mrs Cowden."

"Only if you call me June, dear."

Anna obliged and continued to walk behind June, however she stopped when she reached the kitchen door.

Lizzy was sat at the table, her back to the doorway, her head bent over something.

Anna felt and heard her breath hitch as she stood completely still, watching the little girl who had inherited the same looks as her mother – almost identical ones to Anna. Her dark hair flowed all the way down her back, although tied back in a plait. Anna felt a lump form in her throat as she watched her niece affectionately.

"Elizabeth, look who's here to see you."

June had walked around the table and gone back to the pots on the stove, stirring them languidly as she kept one eye on the child.

The little girl at the table stopped what she was doing and instantly turned around.

Anna was holding her breath.

A pair of blue eyes identical to her own latched onto her.

She felt herself being studied.

She felt a large force around her middle.

She looked down.

Suddenly, the breath she had been holding was gone.

Lizzy had wrapped her arms around her middle and buried her face into her skirts, she could already feel moisture against the material and she could hear the sobs. She was murmuring something unintelligible into her skirts and Anna had to strain her ears to hear properly. Eventually, she realised that Lizzy was calling her name over and over again, all the while subconsciously tightening her hold around her aunt.

Anna could feel tears slipping down her cheeks again, and she was instantly knelt down, gathering the child in her arms, kissing her forehead and her cheeks. "Oh, sweetheart," Anna whispered in her ear as she heard Lizzy say something along the lines of _I'm glad you came_.

Anna promised she would never let go.

* * *

**A/N (2): **Over this and the next chapter, I hope you all warm to Lizzy. That is my intention, so if I'm doing anything wrong please let me know. I also hope I can handle this sensitively. Big thanks again to **TestShip**!


	3. Chapter 2

**The Long and Winding Road**

**Chapter Two**

Anna had barely slept that night. Maybe an hour or so in the early hours, but after Lizzy had woken up from a nightmare Anna had lain in bed, contemplating how the next few days, weeks, months – years even – would figure themselves out. She had thought, or worried, about Lizzy, and then her mind had gone back to thinking about John. Anna contemplated how he was fairing back at Downton, and whether he missed her as much as she missed him.

Another hour passed, and Anna was no closer to sleeping in her late sister's spare bedroom, so she decided to get up when the sun rose and continue working through Rose's possessions in the other room. She had just finished searching through some old dresses that she would pass onto charity – Mrs Crawley was always looking for old clothes in the village, Anna had passed on a few of hers in the past – when Lizzy came into the bedroom, wide eyed despite having clearly just woken up.

For a moment, Anna thought she might have been confused, seeing a lady with similar structure to her mother in her mother's bedroom. Her heart twisted at the expression on the poor girl's face, and Anna immediately opened her arms and bid her a good morning.

"Did you have nice dreams when you went back to sleep?" Anna asked.

Lizzy nodded, albeit solemnly.

It was something, Anna thought to herself. Reaching out her hand to the little girl, Anna spoke up, "How about I make us something for breakfast?"

Lizzy nodded slowly.

"Would you like to go for a walk today?" Anna thought it would be best for them to get out of the house, if only for a little while. It was hardly healthy for them to be cooped up in here all day and night – apart from Lizzy being out in the garden – but since she had arrived, Lizzy had not been up to taking even a short walk.

Lizzy shook her head.

Anna sighed silently, watching her little niece closely. She had always been a quiet child, but in light of recent events Anna presumed she would be closing herself off from the world even more. She knew it would be up to her, and John of course, to bring Lizzy out of her shell once more, but Anna also knew how difficult that could be. Grief was obviously a different process for everyone. She had been a wreck when her mother had passed away during John's imprisonment, and she knew John had taken his own mother's death harder than he admitted to. She still remembered the day he received the news. Anna had seen him crying once before, the night he had thought to be leaving the Abbey, but of course he thought she had seen less than she had and when she had caught him upset about his mother's passing, he had been embarrassed. It had taken some stern words from her for him to finally let his resolve crumble, although she knew he would still try and control his emotions around her.

"Do you want to help me make breakfast, then?"

Lizzy thought for a moment but nodded, keeping a tight hold on Anna's hand as they walked through to the kitchen.

Anna watched Lizzy throughout the morning, from breakfast to when she continued to sort through the possessions in the cottage. Lizzy wandered off around mid-morning, and Anna had seen her from the kitchen window in the garden, sitting on the swing her father had built during the war when he had been on leave. Anna still remembered her sister recounting the tale on one of her last visits, after he had been killed. She had been so thrilled to have him home, and she had told Anna endless stories of the things the three of them had done as a family.

Deciding to leave her be for a while, Anna went through to the sitting area, intent on continuing working through the cottage, but suddenly the fatigue caught up with her.

Choking back a sob, she collapsed onto one of the settees and covered her mouth with her hand, letting some of her tears fall freely down her cheeks. She had not anticipated how difficult it would be, to come here alone, and she missed John. She missed him _a lot_. The two of them had known that their first separation after his sentence would be difficult, but neither would have anticipated it to be this soon, or in these circumstances. How could they have done?

Anna picked up one of Lizzy's stuffed bears, smiling tenderly at the stitches that bore the marks of a loving past before stroking it tenderly. She remembered buying this particular one for her niece all those years ago. Anna had stopped off in York and found a toy shop before making the journey to Claxton to see her sister and the new baby, and this had been the one she had chosen. A light brown bear, black button eyes and a yellow ribbon still tied around its neck. Anna was surprised the ribbon was still there, tracing it fondly.

Suddenly overcome with tiredness, Anna brought the bear closer to her chest and reclined across the settee, closing her eyes. _Just a few minutes_, she thought to herself.

But when she felt a soft hand shaking her shoulder, Anna realised she had been asleep a lot longer than a few minutes. Lizzy was softly whispering, _"Auntie Anna."_

Anna opened her eyes groggily, her vision clearing slowly as she noticed Lizzy sat on the floor beside her. She sighed, stretching out her legs and letting out a grunt, noticing a blanket had been draped across her.

"What is it, sweetheart? How long was I asleep?"

Lizzy shook her head, as if to answer nothing was wrong, her neat plaits swaying from side to side. "A long time. It's after lunch!"

Anna shook her head in shock, almost in an attempt to wake herself up completely. She sat up, realising she was still holding onto the bear. She smiled slightly, sharing a look with her niece, before holding it out to Lizzy. The little girl smiled at her aunt and took the bear, cuddling it to her chest.

"Are you hungry?" asked Anna.

Lizzy shrugged.

Anna smirked at her knowingly. That was a yes, that much she knew. She would make something for them in a little while, Mrs Cowden had been kind, and insistent, enough to provide her with enough food to last them until the two of them left for Downton, but first there was something she needed to discuss with her. Anna motioned with her head for Lizzy to come up and sit with her, and the girl came willingly, snuggling into her side and underneath the blanket.

"You know, Lizzy…" Anna began, but was suddenly unsure of what to say.

Lizzy looked up.

Anna sighed, looking down and meeting her eyes.

"We will have to go back soon, to Downton." Anna hesitated before saying anything else, not wanting Lizzy to feel uncomfortable at the thought of leaving her childhood home – the only home she had ever known. "The people I work for will expect me back."

"Am I coming with you?"

Anna frowned, "Of course you are." Anna tightened her hold around Lizzy. "I told you, you'd be living with me from now on. And your Uncle."

"Uncle John?"

Anna smiled just hearing those words.

"Yes, your Uncle John."

Silence swept across them after that, the two of them just sitting contentedly on the settee. Occasionally Lizzy would ask about Downton, or about John, and Anna would happily indulge her. She would soon discover that the best way to forget her troubles was to indulge herself in happier memories. However, soon neither of them could ignore their grumbling stomachs and Anna suggested they go through to the kitchen and make some dinner for themselves.

Anna had just made some dinner for Lizzy when she heard a knock at the front door. She sighed, dropping the towel she had been using into the sink, and left the kitchen in order to make her way to the front door, assuming it would be another neighbour passing on their condolences as she subconsciously straightened the front of her dress. As she opened the door, however, Anna released a loud gasp.

_John._

She immediately leapt forward and flung herself into his arms.

John let out a laugh at the welcome he received and instantly wrapped his arms tightly around her. Luckily his overnight bag and cane were easy to discard on the floor. He could feel Anna shaking against him, and judging by the sounds she was making, he was not sure if she was laughing or crying.

Releasing his hold on her and pulling back to look into her face, he found that both his assumptions seemed to apply. Tears were falling down her cheeks, but she was laughing, her smile widening as her eyes feasted upon his frame, still not quite believing it.

"What are you– I don't understand!"

"Mrs Hughes sent me. She knew it was unfair for you to do this alone."

Anna let out another hysterical sound before flinging herself into his arms once more, only this time she leant up and kissed him passionately, not caring where they were as she knocked the hat off his head.

Now it was John's turn to laugh, slowly drawing Anna away from him and the kiss, although reluctantly. "Maybe we could continue this inside?"

Anna stared at him for a moment before shaking herself out of her reverie, laughing again, "Of course! I'm so sorry, come on in."

She led the way, waiting while John picked up his bag and cane. Once he had come inside and the door was closed, Anna kissed him again, although this time a little more tenderly, and it did not last as long.

"You must tell me everything."

John laughed, placing his bag down, propping his hat on top. "There really isn't much to tell. Mrs Hughes told me last night to pack a bag, that I would be required to dress His Lordship this morning but that I should catch the train after that."

Anna sighed happily. "I must thank her when we get back."

John smiled, searching for her hand and squeezing it tenderly. He spoke softly, "I missed you." Anna smiled sweetly. "I was worried too."

Anna lifted a hand to his cheek, stroking it tenderly. "I missed you too."

Anna was about to crane her head upwards for a kiss when she heard a noise from behind her. Jumping slightly, she turned to find Lizzy stood in the doorway to the front hall, having heard the noise and come to investigate.

She was looking at this new man with curiosity, and she looked down and saw that her aunt was holding hands with him.

Anna moved towards Lizzy slowly, bringing John with her. "Lizzy, I told you about your Uncle John."

John stepped forward a little more, stepping around Anna so that Lizzy could see him properly, and he smiled at the young girl, "Hello."

Lizzy regarded him with a little more curiosity, but after a moment or two she smiled a little shyly, clutching the teddy bear to her chest.

As the two most important people in her life silently exchanged pleasantries, Anna watched them both, smiling herself, because whilst it was clear that Lizzy was still quite shy in front of him, she had the feeling the two of them would become very close in the near future.

* * *

"I managed to sort through most things," Anna explained as she showed John into her sister's old bedroom where most of the possessions were. She had lain most of the clothes out on the bed, a large pile which she was intending on donating.

"You've done a lot," John commented.

"Most of these can be donated," Anna motioned to the pile of clothes. "Lizzy doesn't have much, but what she does have, I think we should bring back with us. There are some little treasures too, I thought we could save them until Lizzy is older. The house will eventually be sold, and I thought the furniture could stay here too, you know just… the rest of it, I…"

John had begun to notice that Anna was rambling. It was now as she paused that he noticed her bottom lip wobbling, and he instantly sought to reassure her, taking her hand and leading her to sit on the bed.

"Anna…"

She closed her eyes and let him guide her, her hand shaking as a few tears slipped down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry, I…"

"Don't be sorry," John responded, perhaps a little harshly at first. Anna opened her eyes quickly. John lifted his hand to her cheek and spoke again, this time softer, "You have no need to be sorry."

"It's just," Anna began slowly. "Doing this, it makes it all feel real. That sounds silly, doesn't it?"

He shook his head. "Not at all, I felt the same."

Anna knew he was talking about when his mother died.

They shared a look, and a smile, before John reached across her and picked up a small, cardboard box that seemed to contain a small collection of photographs. He opened the lid, but only after looking up at her for permission – which she instantly gave – and stilled his thumbs on the edge.

"Tell me about this," John urged her gently, thinking that this might be a way for her to open up a little more about her sister, as well as to enable her own healing process.

He felt her head drop to his shoulder. Anna could still see the photographs from where her head lay, and she smiled at the first photograph in the pile.

"That was Rose's wedding day," Anna informed him. The photograph was one with the bride and groom on their own outside a church he did not recognise. It was not the one he passed earlier that afternoon, so he assumed it was taken in the village where Anna had grown up with her family. He carefully moved onto the next photograph, one that now contained the bride, the groom, Anna, a young man and an older man and woman, the latter looking exactly like Anna. His assumption that these were her parents and brother was confirmed by Anna.

"And this one?"

Anna sighed softly as he leafed through the photographs, coming to one of two young girls, neither of which he completely recognised.

"Rose, and me, when we were younger."

John chuckled as he traced the edges of the photograph, fully recognising Anna now as an apparently bright and, by the looks of it, healthy girl.

"Don't you laugh, John Bates," Anna chuckled to herself, swatting his chest playfully with her hand.

"I'm sorry," John apologised. "But you were adorable."

"_Were_?" Anna raised an eyebrow.

"_Are_."

Anna chuckled once more and shifted further into his side, sighing softly when his arm came to wrap around her.

She looked up, however, when the bedroom door creaked open. Lizzy appeared in the doorway, offering a weak and hesitant smile, still not fully accustomed to having John here.

"It's all right," Anna reassured her when she recognised the wary look. "You can come and look at these with us if you want."

Lizzy obliged and stepped forwards, halting just before she reached them, unsure of where to go or sit.

Before Anna could move, John shifted himself a little to the left, making room for Lizzy to sit between them if she so wished. Lizzy did move forward, and as she settled herself between them Anna threw him a grateful smile.

John held the photographs out in front of him, angling them so that Anna and Lizzy could see properly, whilst Anna placed her hand on the small of her back, using the pad of her thumb to rub it soothingly.

"Do you remember this one?" Anna asked Lizzy as John paused on another photograph, one of Lizzy and her parents which must have been taken when she was only a few months shy of her first birthday. The photographer had evidently caught Lizzy's attention with something, because her mouth hung wide open and her arms were outstretched in the direction of the camera, almost as though she was trying to reach out for something.

Lizzy shook her head, and Anna pressed a kiss to her temple.

Seeing her father in the photograph seemed to send Lizzy into a contemplative state, and just as Anna was about to ask her about it, Lizzy asked, "Did mummy have to die too? Like dad did in the war."

Anna looked across at John for a moment, unsure of how to respond, before Lizzy looked up at her, her eyes widening. Anna chewed her tongue and shook her head. "No, sweetheart. It was just your mum's time to leave the world, as it will be for everyone."

Anna was not quite sure how her explanation had gone with Lizzy, but soon enough she had nodded her head slowly, and was slowly encouraging John to move onto the next photograph in the pile.

* * *

Anna was pensive that night when she and John retired to bed. She had already changed into her nightgown by the time he had finished in the bathroom and changed and was sitting up in bed, staring at the wall with a little more interest than she should have been.

John managed to slide into bed beside her without Anna noticing. His brow crinkled with worry, and he reached out his hand and covered hers with it. This made her jump, but only a little. Anna turned her head.

"Oh, John, I'm sorry. I was miles away."

"Anywhere nice?" he smiled.

Anna smiled at his poor attempt at humour, although appreciated the thought behind it.

"I was just thinking…" She stopped and started to fiddle with the bed sheets.

"Thinking about what?" John prompted.

Anna breathed out loudly and began again, "Just about what Lizzy was asking earlier. Whether she feels as though she needs someone to blame for Rose's death."

John squeezed her hand. "She needs to get her head around everything that's happened. Maybe if we let her try and do that now, she is more likely to come to us for answers later."

"I just remember, when my sister died, I needed someone to blame." Anna sniffed. John recalled the sister who had died young. Anna had only been eight or nine, if he remembered rightly. "I went through a phase of blaming anyone for not stopping her death in my mind. Even myself."

John squeezed her hand again.

"And did anyone explain it to you?"

Anna shook her head. "Not really. Mum and Dad never liked to talk about it, and I never really talked about it with Daniel or Rose. We were there for each other, but they were younger than me, so talking was never really an option."

"Would you have wanted someone to?"

Anna thought for a moment before shifting and lying down so that her head was resting against his chest. His arms automatically wrapped around her, and Anna's heart sped at the recognition of this intimate notion once more – something that neither of them had experienced since their wedding night.

"I'm not sure, really. Possibly. Probably."

His hands were rubbing her arms, his lips occasionally kissing the top of her braided hair tenderly. "Then we can wait, and see what you think best."

Anna caught onto one of his hands, bringing it to her lips and kissing it softly.

"Thank you."

John smiled, not being able to resist the urge to lean down and kiss her head once more.

"I can't wait to move into the cottage," Anna suddenly informed him.

John chuckled. "Neither can I, especially if this is what I have to look forward to."

Anna smiled against his chest, the thin fabric of his night shirt doing nothing to stop her feeling the natural heat coming from his body. "Amongst other things."

Anna simultaneously let out a yawn, and John smiled to himself.

He squeezed her shoulders, letting her know that he had understood the meaning of her words, and then spoke softly, "Go to sleep now."

Anna murmured in agreement, already half asleep. A few minutes later, John could feel the natural and steady rhythm of her breathing against him, and smiled to himself, settling down to sleep with his wife in his arms for the first time in over a year.

* * *

The next morning, somewhere around lunchtime, the three of them boarded the train back to Downton.

* * *

**A/N: **Thank you _so _much for all the response, it really makes my day whenever I get a notification for this story. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. The next will be up sometime over the next week. Thanks again to **TestShip **for all your help. I hope everyone enjoys the Christmas Special (as much as we can do) and Merry Christmas to everyone who celebrates it, and if not have a lovely week all the same! :)


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N: **Thanks so much for the response again, and I hope you all had a lovely week despite the meh of the Christmas Special. Not as much A/B interaction in this chapter as usual, but I can promise a lot more in the next chapter. Big thanks again to **TestShip **and I did understand some of your review ;). This is all three of them returning to Downton!

* * *

**The Long and Winding Road**

**Chapter Three **

The journey back to Downton Abbey took a little longer than first expected, the train being delayed on the line for an hour or so because of a fallen tree. Therefore, when John, Anna and Lizzy finally found themselves at the Abbey, it was close to nightfall, and the little girl was already asleep in the arms of her aunt. John was grateful that Lord Grantham had sent a car to the train station to wait for them, and that it had seemingly remained there despite the delay, knowing that the walk back from the station would have been increasingly difficult with an increasingly tired child. He made a mental note to thank His Lordship later that evening.

He pushed the back door open for Anna and Lizzy after the chauffeur had dropped their bags beside them and taken the car back around. The heat from inside the servants' quarters hit them instantly, a contrast to the increasing chill outside as autumn drew near.

"Here," he gestured for Anna to go inside ahead of him, his eyes trained on the hallway ahead as Mr Carson turned in his chair to look at them.

Mrs Hughes appeared next, rounding the table as she hurried to meet them. She approached Anna instantly and asked softly, cautious of the sleeping child in her arms, "How was it?"

"Bearable," Anna replied softly, hitching Lizzy further up in her arms, earning a tender look from Mrs Hughes who reached out a motherly hand to smooth Lizzy's hair from her eyes.

"How has she been?" Mrs Hughes asked, although was increasingly aware of the gathering in the hall behind her, and the noise coming from the kitchen that was a tell-tale sign that dinner was still being served.

"We're not sure yet," Anna confessed, tightening her hold on Lizzy as she began to stir gently.

Mrs Hughes started to notice Lizzy stirring and, thinking quickly, thought it would be best if the little girl had a good night of sleep before she started to meet everyone downstairs, knowing that it would be a little overwhelming for her at the best of times.

"We can take her to bed now if you want," the housekeeper began. "Best to save the introductions 'til tomorrow."

Anna nodded thankfully and slowly began to ease a waking Lizzy from her arms, knowing that she would never make it all the way up to the attics with her in her arms. Lizzy was drowsy, and protested with a little mumble as she was stood on the floor, but leant against her aunt almost instantly and followed her upstairs.

A bed had been prepared in Anna's room, Mrs Hughes knowing that the little girl would feel comfortable beside her aunt. And after all, the room was larger than others after her recent promotion to lady's maid. Anna opened the door to her room and saw the small camp bed, and instantly set about changing Lizzy into some of the night clothes they had brought with them. Mrs Hughes handed her the travel bag filled with the girl's possessions and clothes, explaining that Mr Bates had given it to her just as she had started going up the stairs when Anna looked at her curiously.

Anna had just finished undoing the buttons on Lizzy's dress when the little girl asked, her voice thick with sleep, "Are we at Downton now?"

"We are, sweetheart," Anna whispered as she slipped the nightgown over her head and tightened the braid in her hair, pulling back the duvet covers for her to slip beneath.

Lizzy did so willingly, yawning quietly as she turned into her pillow drowsily.

Anna whispered a good night and kissed her forehead before leaving the room quietly, turning the light off as she went.

* * *

Anna returned downstairs, closely behind Mrs Hughes. The older woman stopped as they reached a landing on the small staircase and turned towards Anna, the one she had always looked upon as a daughter, and started to take in her appearance – the redness of her eyes, the bags underneath them from where she had not been sleeping properly, and the wobble of her lip as she realised she was being studied…

"How has it really been?" Mrs Hughes asked, rubbing the top of Anna's arm as the younger lady's maid closed her eyes briefly.

She was determined not to cry. She had done enough of that in the past couple of days. John had bore witness to far too many of her tears – not that he minded, and Anna knew that. She bit her tongue and tried to avoid eye contact with the housekeeper, but a small sigh that escaped the lips of Mrs Hughes informed Anna that there was no use trying to hide.

"It was awful," Anna finally confessed, looking up at Mrs Hughes, straight into her eyes. The compassion she saw there reminded Anna of her own mother, and she felt her heart lurch at the feeling; the memories of her childhood. "But thank you for sending Mr Bates."

"It was no trouble."

"But it was," Anna responded. "You were rushed off your feet, and so was Mr Molesley. You didn't have to do it."

"He didn't mind," Mrs Hughes began, before stepping closer to Anna, bringing her other hand up to rest on the other arm. "And neither did I. You and Mr Bates are both very highly valued here, and you will do well to remember that."

Those familiar words – words that had been spoken during her husband's trial, or just after – resounded around her head, knocking her speechless as she closed her eyes, willing the tears to disappear, and nodded slowly.

She could feel herself being pulled into the embrace of Mrs Hughes, the arms that gathered around her; lulled her into a sense of security that she had rarely felt in her entire life. Anna allowed her head to fall against her shoulder, a few stubborn tears escaping her eyes.

"Now," Mrs Hughes began, pulling away from the embrace slowly. "I'll go and inform Her Ladyship that you're back safely, and that introductions can be made tomorrow."

Anna smiled and nodded, wiping at her eyes.

"Why don't you go down and see Mr Bates? No doubt he'll be waiting for you."

Anna smiled again, but this time it grew wider, and it took no convincing for her to go back downstairs.

Mrs Hughes watched as she went, and prayed that things would soon start looking up for the Bateses.

* * *

Anna was downstairs in the hall with John having a cup of tea and listening to the various conversations happening between all of the other servants when she noticed Mrs Hughes come down the main staircase into their quarters. She quickly placed her cup down and called out,

"Mrs Hughes!"

The housekeeper turned and entered the hall, although lingered underneath the door frame. She looked across at Anna questioningly.

"Is there anything to be done?"

Mrs Hughes looked at Anna as though she had grown a second head, and John simply smiled knowingly at the interaction between his wife and Mrs Hughes.

"Certainly not," Mrs Hughes admonished her suggestion. "Why don't the both of you go for a walk? It's still quite early and neither of them will be ringing for you tonight."

With that, Mrs Hughes left the hall briskly for her sitting room and Anna sat back down.

As she turned her head to John, he asked, "Do you fancy that?"

"What if Lizzy wakes up?"

"That isn't likely," John retorted. "Besides, we will only be a little while." He could see Anna start to think about it seriously. He teased her quietly, "Come on."

When she smiled, he knew he'd won.

* * *

"And then Mr Carson's face went red…"

John trailed off, letting Anna continue to laugh as he watched her in delight. It had been his mission during their walk tonight to make her smile, and laugh, and he was delighted to have completed it. He had seen far too many of her tears these past few days, and he had vowed in prison to do his best to keep them as far away as possible upon his release. He had been the cause of them far too often.

"Poor William," Anna laughed, although her tone turned a little sombre at the thought of their fallen friend.

"And us," John laughed with her. "Mr Carson had us all helping clean dinner off the floor, my knee was wreaking havoc for weeks!"

Anna rolled her eyes at his comment, but could hardly help herself from snuggling even further into his side as they walked, wrapping her arm tighter around his waist. "My poor darling."

John poked her side for good measure before pulling her closer, breathing out a sigh into the cool September air. The two of them had walked quite some way now, on a rather long route around the grounds that they had once found in their 'courting' days. Anna was happy to walk silently by his side, wrapped in the cocoon of his embrace, so John started to think.

First, he started to think about the month ahead for them; how this month was likely to be the most crucial for making Lizzy comfortable. He found himself relieved that the family would not be taking the usual trip up to Scotland this month, even though he felt guilty afterwards for thinking so, considering the reasons behind their ultimate decision to stay. But he quickly pulled himself away from those thoughts and started to think about their cottage, which should be available to them after the funeral.

This thought made his heart soar. It had been years since the offer had first been made – the night he had gone to Lord Grantham and asked him about the possibilities of marrying Anna. It was funny, he thought, how he _should _have been asking her father for permission, but he had ended up approaching Lord Grantham. As it were, Mr Smith had passed away years before he had even met Anna, so that was out of the picture anyway. But once Lord Grantham had mentioned the cottage, he had begun to contemplate their life together in it. Before he had even asked Anna for her hand.

He chuckled to himself, although Anna heard.

"What are you thinking about?"

John looked down, and his heart sang when he saw Anna looking up at him, a curious smile across her face.

He was about to reply, when he noticed that the two of them had reached the temple and were close to the house again. John motioned for them both to go and sit there, briefly remembering the times when they had gone and sat there, huddled together, and talked well into the night. On those occasions he had been sure to ask Mrs Hughes for the back door keys so he could lock up behind him. She had barely minded at that time, the two of them practically being engaged.

"I was thinking about the cottage," he revealed as the two continued their walk.

The two walked over to the temple and sat down on one of the steps. John eased himself to the ground with his cane, and he smiled as Anna started to rub gentle circles over his knee.

"Lady Mary says that they have been renovating it this week, apparently there was a lot of work to do," Anna giggled, settling in his arms.

"At least it will be ready to move into," he suggested. The two had seen the row of cottages, and their state seemed fairly… unusable. At least from the outside. His Lordship had also mentioned to him briefly before that a lot of the cottages needed work. He was pleased that work was being carried out before the three of them would be moving in, although he assumed that the news of Anna's sister had prompted it more than anything.

Anna turned and smiled at him. "And a place to call home."

His eyes shone as his mind registered her words, and he could not help but lean down and close the distance between their lips.

Anna continued, "And for Lizzy to call home."

John could sense there was more to the matter than he had heard, but he waited patiently for a few moments before saying anything himself. He watched as her eyes lay to rest on one particular stone, and knew that she was locked away in her thoughts and, most probably, worries. "What are you fretting over?" he asked gently, even teasingly as he tried to bring a smile back to her face.

"I just…" Anna began but stopped almost instantly afterwards. She took another deep breath and, spurred on by his hand rubbing down her arm, she continued, "I hope we can be enough. It's going to be difficult for Lizzy and I want her to feel at home eventually."

"I think she will," John spoke, just holding her for a moment. "I think it will be difficult at times – some a lot more than others. But I think we can help her through this, and I know that you will do everything in your power to do so."

"You've always had such faith in me, I never understood…"

"You waited," he interrupted her, kissing her neck. "You fought," he kissed her neck again. "You still loved me even after all the pain I put you through." He kissed her temple this time.

Anna argued, "I could never stop loving you, John."

His hand came to rest upon her cheek, and he gently turned her head to face him, moving his lips down to meet hers in a slow, passionate kiss. He tried to deepen it instantly, and when Anna parted her lips he began to explore in earnest, moving his spare hand up and down her side, rubbing her skin through the thick fabric of her dress and coat.

Husband and wife only parted when they were in need of air, and Anna instantly let her head drop to his shoulder, closing her eyes and smiling.

"Shall we start to head back?"

John asked her a few minutes later, noticing her eyes begin to flutter closed.

Anna nodded wordlessly without even opening her eyes and allowed John to help her to her feet. They walked back to the house arm in arm but, just as Anna was about to bid him a goodnight, she noticed a gathering in the servants' hall and a sniffling that could only have belonged to one person.

She let go of her husband's arm and rushed into the hall only to find Lizzy sat, awake, rubbing her red, puffy eyes on Daisy's knee. The assistant cook had her arms wrapped around the little girl, comforting her as best as she could.

However, as soon as Lizzy saw Anna, she reached out to her aunt. Anna obliged and took the girl in her arms, grunting mildly at the weight in her arms before she sat down in a spare seat.

"What happened?" Anna asked Lizzy, although more to the others.

"She had a nightmare," Daisy replied, moving to stand up. "I heard her when I popped upstairs and thought it would be best to bring her down."

Anna nodded at the explanation, kissing the top of Lizzy's head as she whispered her apologies for not being there into her ear. The little girl sniffed once more and clung even tighter to Anna.

Anna listened to the others as she held Lizzy. She only heard bits and pieces here and there. Daisy had brought her down and Mrs Patmore had made her some warm milk. Mrs Hughes had been dressing Lady Mary for bed at the time, since Anna would return to her duties the next morning, and she had promised that Anna would be back soon with Mr Bates. Miss O'Brien had suggested Lizzy could have one of Mrs Patmore's special biscuits and the cook had obliged, bringing through a plate of chocolate-covered biscuits.

Anna was still soothing Lizzy.

Thomas made some flippant remark about the commotion being made, but before Anna could retort Miss O'Brien had beaten her to it, telling Thomas to put a sock in it.

As he left the hall with a huff, Anna threw Miss O'Brien a grateful smile.

Mrs Hughes entered the hall then and instantly suggested everyone should leave and give the girl some room to breath. Most left, but Anna asked Mr Bates and Daisy to stay.

"Do you think you're ready to sleep yet?" Anna asked, watching as Lizzy carefully turned her head to inspect the occupants of the room. She smiled slightly at John, who returned it warmly.

Lizzy shook her head, reaching out for her glass of milk and finishing the rest of it.

Anna watched her carefully, seeing that she was contemplating something. Anna noticed the same look in her eye that her sister used to have whenever she was thinking and wanted to say something. She waited for a minute or so, giving her time, but eventually asked her what it was.

Lizzy shrugged at first, but after being met with silence started to speak, "Mummy always liked it when I drew her pictures." Anna's first instinct was to frown, wondering where Lizzy was going with this. Her heart sank when she continued. "If I draw one for her now, can she come back?"

Anna had to fight the tears in her eyes, determined not to cry in front of Lizzy. "No, sweetheart, I'm sorry. She can't."

"But…"

Daisy noticed as Anna began to struggle and decided to interrupt Lizzy. "My husband, William, is in heaven too, just like your mum." Lizzy looked up as Daisy spoke. "I know he can't come back. But, sometimes, I feel that he is watching over me, making sure everything is right. I think your mum will do the same."

Lizzy did not respond verbally, but instead nodded slowly.

When the little girl yawned a few minutes later, Anna announced that both of them would go up to bed. Anna found that the explanation had helped in some ways because Lizzy did not speak of it again before climbing into bed, however it would not be the last time she tried to bargain.

* * *

"More toast?"

Mrs Patmore asked over and over again.

Anna had left Lizzy in the kitchen with Mrs Patmore and Daisy, hoping that she would feel more comfortable with people she knew from the previous night, and knowing that it would be less busy than the servants' hall at this time in the morning. Everyone was in and out for breakfast, all at different times, and Anna thought it might have been a bit overwhelming.

Lizzy shook her head, still sat on the chair by the desk Mrs Patmore had for her records.

"Some juice?"

Lizzy shook her head once more, smiling shyly.

"Very well, little miss. Never say Mrs Patmore doesn't feed you enough." The old cook pointed her rolling pin at the girl dramatically and reached out her spare hand to stroke her cheek, causing Lizzy to smile a little wider but still remain silent.

John happened to be walking past the kitchen, wanting to go outside for some fresh air before going to see His Lordship, when he noticed Lizzy sat there in silence. He poked his head around the door, trying to grab her attention.

When she turned, he smiled at her warmly.

"Do you want to come outside for a bit?" he asked, loud enough for Mrs Patmore to hear and take notice of them before she went back to her work.

Lizzy nodded and jumped off the chair instantly. She took his hand, which surprised John somewhat, and he led them both outside into the courtyard, finding a crate to sit on.

"Best not stay out here too long," John started. "Your aunt will be mad at me if you catch a cold."

Lizzy giggled and John smiled down at her, sat by his side.

"Too much going on in there, eh?"

Lizzy nodded and sidled up closer to him, prompting John to wrap his arm around her shoulders.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Yes," Lizzy answered, surprising John as she spoke.

"And we should be moving into the cottage next week," John continued. "Lord Grantham says he has been fixing it properly for us."

"Does it have a garden?"

John thought for a second, "I think so. We can go and see it, if you like. Your aunt and I might be able to take you there on a walk this afternoon. Would you like that?"

Lizzy looked up and smiled at John, nodding her head.

The two of them continued to talk, and bond, until Mrs Hughes came to fetch them.

* * *

When Lizzy came back inside, Anna was just coming downstairs. She had just finished dressing Lady Mary when Lord Grantham woke and called for John. It was unusual for Anna to be dressing Mary before John had gone to His Lordship, but it was not unheard of. Anna smiled as she saw her niece, and Lizzy returned it.

"How long have you two been outside?" Anna asked, directing her question at John, but getting a response from her niece.

"Not long," she responded quite happily. "Uncle John said you would be mad at him if we stayed for too long."

Anna raised an eyebrow and looked at her husband. Mrs Hughes smirked knowingly. "Did he now?"

"I better be going," John brushed past the three of them, making his way upstairs, but not before turning and sharing a look with his wife.

"Her Ladyship should be dressed soon, Miss O'Brien just went up. Then we can go and say hello." Mrs Hughes informed the two of them, and she was right. Some time later, O'Brien came back downstairs and revealed that Her Ladyship was going to spend time in the main sitting room this morning and that she had told her to inform Mrs Hughes.

Mrs Hughes nodded and then signalled to Anna and Lizzy before the three of them made their way upstairs.

Lizzy was in awe of the house, and Anna smiled at her lovingly, ensuring that she kept hold of her hand.

Mrs Hughes knocked on the sitting room door and, after hearing a response, opened it.

"Good morning, Mrs Hughes." Cora spoke with a bright smile, eagerly watching the door.

Anna followed Mrs Hughes, still holding onto Lizzy's hand. Her eyes scanned the room quickly, and she noticed that Tom – _Mr Branson _now to her – was in the corner, holding baby Sybil in his arms. She shot him a warm smile instantly, and he met her eyes and smiled back.

"Good morning, m'lady. Mr Branson," Mrs Hughes nodded warmly at Tom.

"And who do we have here?" Cora stood up slowly, still smiling. Mrs Hughes knew Her Ladyship had been anxious to meet the little girl staying under her roof.

"This is Anna's niece, your Ladyship. Elizabeth."

"Well it's very nice to meet you, Elizabeth." Cora announced brightly, although laughed a little when Lizzy turned into Anna's skirt shyly.

"I'm afraid she might be feeling a little shy," Anna explained.

"There's no worry there," Cora explained hastily. "Lady Edith was quite the same at that age."

Anna smiled warmly.

"Well, I shan't keep you any longer." Cora essentially ended their little meeting. "It was very nice to meet you, Elizabeth."

"Very well, your Ladyship," Mrs Hughes smiled and nodded.

The three of them came out into the main hallway. At the same time, Lady Mary was coming downstairs and, upon seeing the three of them, smiled widely.

"Anna! I was hoping to catch you actually."

Anna stood still, holding onto Lizzy's hand still whilst Mrs Hughes carried on to the door that took her downstairs to the servants' quarters.

"Yes, m'lady?"

"I wanted to try a new hairstyle tonight, for Mr Matthew. Would you mind coming up a little earlier to practice?"

"No, of course not, m'lady."

Lady Mary smiled warmly and then looked down at Lizzy.

"And is this the famous Elizabeth?"

Lizzy hid once more in Anna's skirts.

Anna let out a laugh, "She's been quite shy this morning."

Lady Mary looked down at the girl affectionately. "Why not bring her with you? Maybe she could do your hair too," Mary suggested, gaining the attention of Lizzy. "She is very good."

Anna smiled warmly at Lady Mary. "We will, m'lady. We will both see you later."

* * *

Anna went upstairs a little earlier that evening, Lizzy by her side. She was curious as to the new hairstyle that Lady Mary was interested in wanting tonight, considering there was no special event, or even guests joining them for dinner. Old Lady Grantham and Mrs Crawley were joining the family, that much Anna knew, but that had hardly been a reason in the past for Lady Mary to spice up her hair.

_Unless she was planning something with Mr Crawley_, Anna thought to herself amusedly.

Shaking herself from these thoughts, Anna looked down at her niece, who was looking up at the tall corridors in awe. Anna was hardly surprised that she was experiencing these feelings in the house, she remembered feeling similar when she first started working as a maid at Downton all those years ago.

Squeezing her hand affectionately, Lizzy looked up at her aunt, granting her a small, shy smile.

"Big, isn't it?"

Anna watched as Lizzy swallowed and nodded.

"At least the cottage will be much smaller. No getting lost in there," Anna joked.

She was overjoyed when she heard her niece let out a small giggle.

The three of them had experienced a lovely walk that afternoon, taking the same route Anna and John had when he had been released a couple of weeks ago. Mrs Hughes and Mr Carson had obliged with their request to go and show Lizzy the cottage that Lord Grantham was to provide them in just over a week. The walk seemed to have calmed Lizzy slightly and reassured her, at least in part. Anna and John had pointed out the cottage and the three of them had started to share silly, little stories about their potential time there in the future, imagining how big the bedrooms and kitchen would be.

Lizzy was slowly starting to become more and more comfortable around them, but Anna was still concerned that the funeral on Monday would bring even more grief and pain to the little girl.

They reached Lady Mary's bedroom, and Anna knocked as usual before being told to enter.

Lady Mary turned from where she was sat at her dressing table, "Anna!"

Mr Crawley took this as his queue to leave the bedroom, although not before shooting his wife a knowing smirk. She returned it, before focusing her attentions on Anna and the little girl beside her.

"Have you had a nice afternoon?" Lady Mary asked.

"We did, m'lady," Anna answered with a smile, beckoning Lizzy to move forward with her. "We went to see the cottage, didn't we?"

Lizzy looked up at her aunt, and then over to Lady Mary. Slowly, she smiled and nodded.

"Of course, the cottage. It should be ready to move into soon."

"His Lordship has told Mr Bates that it should be ready for next Friday."

"Very good." Lady Mary smiled. "Now, since we have quite some time yet I thought you could do Elizabeth's hair first." Anna brought her hand up to her niece's brown hair and stroked it softly.

"Well, I suppose we could," Anna teased her.

"Of course we could," Lady Mary replied, standing up to bring the chair from the side of her bed to her dressing table. Anna looked across and made a face as if to say she would have done that, but Lady Mary merely raised an eyebrow. "Why don't you come and sit here? You can look at my pins and choose one you'd like."

Anna smiled softly at her lady, her eyes a reflection of her gratitude. She urged Lizzy forward, and the little girl went willingly, albeit slowly, and sat herself down on the chair.

Anna watched the two of them as Lady Mary began to show Lizzy her hair pins and stepped forward to release Lizzy's hair from the braids she had plaited earlier. She ran her fingers through the hair, until Lady Mary passed her the hair brush.

"Have you chosen one yet?"

Lady Mary asked, even though she had noticed Lizzy taking a shine to one in particular – a silver one with a crescent moon engraved on top.

"This one?" Lady Mary pointed to it.

Lizzy looked up at her and nodded shyly.

As Lady Mary passed Anna the hair pin, Anna was about to open her mouth and protest when another look silenced her. Anna knew that the hair pin was a particular favourite for Lady Mary, but she was overwhelmed with the kindness she was showing her niece. She always knew that Lady Mary was more kind-hearted and warm than most people assumed, but she really was touched right now.

Anna continued to fix a new hairstyle for Lizzy whilst the three of them made small talk. She had just finished when a knock came at the door again.

It was John, she would soon discover. She had asked him to come and get Lizzy about half an hour after she had taken her up, so she could prepare Lady Mary properly for dinner.

Anna took Lizzy outside, excusing herself with Lady Mary, and smiled a 'thank you' to her husband as he fixed her with one of his smiles, the kind that reached his eyes and caused the skin around them to wrinkle. Those smiles had always caused her stomach to flutter, and this time was no exception.

"What do you think of her hair?" Anna asked John amusedly.

John looked down at Lizzy, who was staring back up at him, and smiled warmly. "Lovely. You could both pass as ladies. Not that you don't usually, of course."

Anna rolled her eyes as Lizzy laughed, and she playfully swatted his arm, "Go, be off with you."

"We'll see you in a little while," John smiled, taking Lizzy downstairs as Anna turned back into the bedroom.

"Was that Bates?" Lady Mary asked.

Anna smiled and nodded.

"He seems good with her."

Anna smiled again, this time a little wider, "He is, m'lady." Anna began to let out her hair, brushing it so that she could re-style it. "Now, what would you like to do?"

"A little… bigger, maybe. Wavier at the sides, too."

Anna bit her lip and nodded, her mind fixing on the style. She slowly began to arrange the hair, as Lady Mary started to speak again.

"When will the funeral be?"

Anna bit the inside of her cheek before answering, keeping her emotions under control. "On Monday, we were going to take the train on Saturday morning after completing our duties, Mrs Hughes agreed."

Lady Mary nodded thoughtfully.

"Will Bates be going with you?"

Anna felt her stomach flip at the thought of him _not _being there with her. She nodded silently, beginning to heat the curling tongs.

"Of course he will be, that was a silly question." Mary remembered when Sybil had died, and how she had needed as many people around her as possible, Matthew especially. She knew Anna would need a similar comfort in these times.

"His Lordship has been generous," Anna explained. "He has allowed Mr Bates some time too."

"I'm certain Mr Molesley can cope with dressing two of them," Lady Mary replied tartly. "Heavens, you coped with dressing all three of us until not long ago."

Anna smiled slightly at her attempt at humour, and a few moments later started to use the curling iron on her hair. She completed it with practiced ease before brushing out the curls with her fingers and attempting to fix it to look _bigger_.

They spoke a little bit more about the funeral, but when Lady Mary could see that it was starting to make Anna quieter she stopped and started to talk about dinner tonight.

Anna drifted in and out of the conversation, continuing to focus on her hair as she began to fix it, happy when she heard Lady Mary's murmur of approval.

Leaving the bedroom just under an hour later, Anna breathed a sigh of relief and immediately went back downstairs, intent on finding her husband.


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N: **First of all, Happy New Year! Let's pray 2014 will be better for these two. Thank you very, very much for the response to this story. It's overwhelmed me, and I'm so glad you're enjoying reading it as much as I am writing it. Lastly, this is funeral chapter and the rating also teeters on the edge of T, maybe moving into **M** at one stage because, well, they can't keep their hands off each other forever. I wouldn't say it's explicit, but if you want to skip it, it's the latter half of section 4.

* * *

**The Long and Winding Road**

**Chapter Four**

Bates placed his hand on the small of his wife's back, carefully guiding her through the small crowds at Downton train station. It was not the first time he would curse his impediment, his cane, but the only way he could sought some soothing contact with Anna was this way. His travel bag, along with a small bag of Lizzy's, were looped around his left wrist, enabling him to guide his wife, whereas his right hand struggled with his cane. Anna was carrying her travel bag. She had insisted on carrying at least Lizzy's belongings, but he had downright refused, hoping to make the journey at least a little bit easier for his wife. She had smiled at his stubborn streak and rolled her eyes before taking Lizzy's hand in her spare.

Their third class carriage proved to be fairly spacious, and also relatively empty, their only company was an elderly lady that, they would soon discover, was travelling to Doncaster to visit her family. Once Bates had safely put away their travelling bags, upon his insistence when Anna had attempted to do so, he sat down on his seat, slowly edging closer to his wife. Society dictated that he should not place his arm around her, but there would be no sharp looks of disgust if he should accidentally brush against her with his arm.

Luckily, after about fifteen minutes of the nostalgic revisiting of memories for the old lady in the carriage – who they had learnt was called Mrs Airedale – she finally succumbed to her book and to occasionally glancing out of the window, and John could now keep his arm firmly by her side, brushing against Anna more often than not.

Anna often looked around at him and smiled, her gratitude exemplified through her soft, blue eyes that John had never, and would never, grow tired of looking into.

He smiled back, and rubbed his thumb across her ring finger, feeling the gold band beneath his touch. Somehow, John knew the three of them would make it through this.

* * *

Anna slowly opened the door to her late sister's home, holding her breath as the memories instantly came flooding back. It was not so much the time she had spent here, but just the knowledge that her sister had made her life here, along with little Lizzy. One cast of her eyes sideways told her that Lizzy had turned sullen and even quieter than she had on their journey here, and Anna could only assume that their time here would prove extremely difficult for her niece.

"Are you sure you don't mind staying here, Lizzy?" Anna asked, kneeling down to Lizzy's height and taking her hands within her own. "Your Uncle John and I wouldn't mind if you did."

Lizzy shook her head despondently and, satisfied, Anna stood back up and pushed the door open a little wider, granting access to the girl who walked in and immediately headed in the direction of her old bedroom.

Bates came up slowly behind Anna, placing his hand on her waist, aligning himself against her back in the hope that it would bring her some comfort. When he felt Anna tremble and heard her forcing back her tears, Bates dropped their travel bags and the bag of groceries they had bought, his cane clattering to the ground, and turned Anna in his arms, embracing her fully so that her forehead could drop onto his shoulder, letting her cry. He ran his hands up and down her back in a soothing rhythm until she had calmed down enough to speak. Bates let his lips come into contact with her temple, restricted slightly because of her hat, before he leant down further and whispered in her ear, "It'll be all right. Everything will be all right."

Anna lifted her head from his shoulder, her lip still trembling. However, as she attempted to speak, Anna could not help but bring her hand to her mouth, trying to keep control of her emotions but failing. The only word she could muster was a ragged "John" before she fell back against him, letting his arms wrap around her again, momentarily shielding herself from the harsh reality of the world.

"Let's get you inside," Bates spoke soothingly. "Come on."

* * *

"_Anna_."

Anna woke late on Saturday night in her sister's spare bedroom to a hand shaking her shoulder gently and a familiar voice whispering in her ear,

"Anna."

She slowly began to open her eyes, adjusting to the darkness of the room, and subconsciously stretching her limbs as she turned to face her husband. Her eyes opened fully once turned, but just as she was about to open her mouth and ask his reasons for waking her, she heard it. It was the sound of crying, becoming louder and louder. Anna instantly realised his reasons and nodded, smiling graciously, before she swung her legs out from beneath the duvet cover and promptly headed towards Lizzy's bedroom.

The crying became louder as she approached the little girl's room.

Anna knocked softly on the door, announcing her arrival before pushing it open slowly. She peeked her head around the side, her eyes instantly falling upon the figure sitting up in the middle of her bed. From the moonlight that streamed into the room, Anna could see that her niece's eyes were red, evidence of her crying.

Her heart lurched uncomfortably, and Anna promptly padded across the room and sat beside Lizzy.

"Oh, sweetheart, come here," Anna put her arm around her shoulder, and the little girl instantly fell against her side. She tried to soothe the girl, running her fingers through her hair and pushing it away from her eyes, and eventually she seemed to calm down.

Anna continued to whisper reassuring words into her ear until she fell back to sleep, feeling the weight against her side become heavier. Anna manoeuvred herself out of the small bed, settling Lizzy back down into a sleeping position, before making her way back to her room – to John.

He was almost asleep once more, and as she slipped into bed beside him, he groggily turned over, "She all right?"

Anna luxuriated in the feel of his arm slipping around her waist, a simple gesture that husband and wife had been denied since their wedding night. She remembered almost every detail of that night together, including the way the two of them had _eventually_ fallen asleep. Anna smiled mischievously at the memory. That night, he had slept with his arm around her waist, her back pressed against him so she could also feel the hot, raspy breaths that left his lips.

"She's sleeping again now," Anna told him, turning over so that she could face him. His eyes were closed, but she still watched him carefully, absorbing his every feature. "But I think it will be some time before she is '_all right_'."

"Mm," John grunted, which Anna thought was adorable. "You all right?"

"I'm fine," Anna replied, leaning forward gently to kiss his forehead. "Go to sleep, John."

He obliged, pulling her closer to him. Anna complied, still facing him, settling herself down on the pillow as she watched him slowly succumb to sleep.

It did not take long for her to join him.

* * *

On Sunday night, at approaching midnight, John awoke suddenly – although, in truth, he had not fallen into a very deep sleep, so it hardly took much for him to wake again. Feeling somewhat of an unsettling in his stomach, he turned worriedly to look at Anna, only to find her fast asleep on her side, one hand tucked beneath her chin. She had been in the same position when he had fallen asleep earlier, watching her.

He scrunched up his face, and was about to sigh and resign himself back to sleep when he heard a whimpering coming from another of the bedrooms on the landing. His heart clenched as he imagined the little girl awake once more, having probably suffered a nightmare again, most likely wanting her mother. His first instinct was to turn and wake Anna, but one look at her peaceful, untroubled face caused him to change his mind.

Anna had barely caught up with her sleep these past few nights, and he knew for a fact that she had not been sleeping well since the news of her sister had reached Downton, so he decided to get up and see if he could console Lizzy. After all, if she was to live with them now, it would not just be up to Anna to take care of her.

Slowly, after putting on his slippers, John padded out of the guest bedroom that Anna had wanted to stay in and across the hallway to where he knew was Lizzy's bedroom.

The whimpers became louder as he approached the door, limping slightly without his cane, although they stopped suddenly as he knocked lightly on the door. There was no response to his knock after a few moments, but as he heard another sniffle, his decision was made as he turned the door knob and slowly peered around the edge.

If his heart could have been pulled from his chest, squeezed and stamped on upon the floor that was how he felt in that moment. It was a reminder of the times he had spent angry at himself for all the hurt he must have inflicted upon Anna. Lizzy was sat up in bed, the duvet covers wrapped tightly around her, whilst her cheeks were stained with remnants of tears.

John swallowed nervously, before opening the door a little more and stepping inside. He softly called out, "Lizzy?"

Lizzy blinked a couple of times, before a few more tears fell from her eyes. Her voice was thick with tears, "Uncle John?"

His heart warmed as he recognised how quickly she had taken to him – had trusted him. It took him no more than a few seconds to cross the small bedroom and perch himself on the edge of her bed, instantly reaching out to smooth the hair from her eyes, hoping that he could comfort her. "Now, what's all this?"

John brushed a tear from her cheek, but Lizzy only cried more. "I want my mum."

"I know you do, sweetheart, I know." He paused for a moment before continuing softly. "You must remember to come to either your Auntie Anna or me when you feel sad or have a nightmare."

Lizzy nodded tearfully.

John knew that he couldn't leave her like this, but he also knew that she was not likely to sleep yet – judging by the alertness in her eyes.

Suddenly, he had an idea.

"How about I make us some warm milk? It might help us sleep."

"Can you not sleep either, Uncle John?" Lizzy asked in a small, almost tired, voice.

"No," John shook his head. "It seems we're quite the same, you and I."

His tone was almost teasing, and Lizzy even smiled a little when he pinched her cheek affectionately. John smiled.

He stood slowly, reaching out his arms for her to climb into, "Come on."

Lizzy obliged and went with him downstairs, settling herself on the settee whilst John made his way through to the kitchen to make the warm milk.

Upon his return, John found that Lizzy had grabbed a storybook from somewhere in the room, and she was clutching it close to her chest. When he sat down, it became clear that she wanted him to read it to her. John smiled and nodded in agreement, placing the two cups down on the small table before taking the book from her and opening it to the first page.

He was pleasantly surprised when Lizzy manoeuvred herself to sit in his lap, her head lulling to rest against his chest. John cradled her in his arms as he read from the book, occasionally stopping to reach forward and pass Lizzy her warm milk. Lizzy enjoyed his reading. She giggled when his voice changed from character to character and sighed softly when the narrative was spoken in such a calm and reassuring manner. But, not half an hour had passed before Lizzy was once again asleep, this time in his arms.

It was not long later that John had fallen asleep too; his head lulling back against the edge of the settee.

He was woken a couple of hours later by Anna shaking him lightly, she having woken and not felt him in the bed beside her.

"Lizzy had a nightmare."

That was all the explanation Anna needed before she smiled tenderly and softly spoke that she would take her back to bed. John tried to argue that he could manage, but Anna fixed him with a stern look which he would rather not have seen escalate. Anna coaxed Lizzy into her arms, even as she woke slightly at the disturbance, and carried her slowly back upstairs, occasionally whispering in her ear and kissing her temple.

John made his way back to bed after clearing their two glasses and washing them in the sink, leaving Anna to settle Lizzy. He waited for her to come back, and ten minutes later she did, although he could immediately sense that something was amiss and, as soon as she had joined him in bed, he gathered her into his arms.

"What are we going to do, John?" Anna's voice was quiet, muffled against the fabric of his night shirt.

Bates replied without doubt and pause, "We're going to cope, and we're going to be happy. All of us."

Anna lifted her head at his words, her eyes shining with admiration and love. Her lip trembled a little at the tenacity of her feelings, her feelings for the man she could now call her husband. The husband she had lived without for over a year, the husband she could now share her life with. Wordlessly, she lifted her hand to his cheek, cupping it gently before she lifted her head further to press their lips together, conveying all that she felt in appreciation and love.

Bates responded to the kiss, however when it began to evolve passionately, he stopped and looked at her. It would be their first time together since their wedding night. His time in prison, no cottage available upon his return to Downton and their exhaustion the previous night had prevented them thus far. Bates needed to be sure this is what she wanted, after all this time and after her recent loss he needed her to be sure.

"Anna, are you –"

She stopped him, putting her index finger to his lips. Anna then kissed him softly, before pulling away and looking into his eyes. They conveyed all that she wanted, all that she needed, and Bates knew that she was sure.

He kissed her then, passionately and fiercely, letting his hand instantly rest among the soft curls of her hair, running his fingers through the strands that had always held him so captivated despite them having been tied back by Anna during her nightly routine. Anna moaned into his kiss as he began to stroke her neck, her cheek, the blades of her shoulders through the thin fabric of her nightgown. Her own hands began their exploration, rubbing against his sides through the fabric of his night shirt and then impatiently moving to the buttons, starting to undo them, all the while their kiss continuing.

However, when Anna had succeeded in her task and had begun running her fingers through the coarse, dark hairs of his chest, John pulled away from their kiss and stared at his wife. His hand slowly descended upon her hair again, his eyes imploring her to let him release it. She nodded, and he immediately started his task, completing it in just a few swift movements. The sight of her blonde tresses falling around her shoulders, draping gloriously across the front of her nightgown with magnificence akin to midday sun, glorified by the moonlight outside streaming through the window, stirred something inside Bates and he let out a shaky breath. The desire in her own eyes as she stared back at him fuelled his response and he moaned, "Oh, Anna" before kissing her again, first her lips and then tracing kisses across her jaw line to her neck before the offending nightgown obstructed his passions. He then began to fumble with her buttons, the tiny obstructions causing him some trouble at first. He managed to undo the first few, and after that he could pepper the skin of her chest with kisses, adorning and covering her with love. Anna's soft moans beneath him spurred John on, and before long he reached to lift the hem of her nightgown, with her permission, to reveal her body in its entirety.

The rest of his garments soon followed at the insistence of Anna's hands and John rolled them both onto their sides to face each other. He gently lifted her leg and wrapped it around his waist, never breaking contact with her eyes as their bodies joined together once more, both more than ready from their previous excursions and the length of their time spent apart.

Both closed their eyes in sweet bliss and sighed in relief, the agonising wait to be together once more finally over.

When John opened his eyes, he noticed that Anna had tears in hers, and for a moment became concerned.

However, when Anna moved her hand from his side and cupped his cheek, kissing him fiercely, he quickly understood her reasons. She had waited for so long, not knowing whether she would ever be able to touch her husband again, besides the occasional brush of their feet beneath the prison tables, and now their time was finally here.

He kissed her back with just as much passion, conveying all that he felt in one of the simplest acts of humans. His hands moved from her face, down the soft outline of her neck and over her chest, settling on her breasts.

Anna moaned her appreciation into his mouth, and John took this as his sign to start moving.

They continued to kiss each other even throughout their movements – either their lips, or any other piece of skin nearest to them. Anna peppered his jaw fondly with kisses between her low, pleasure-filled moans and John adorned her neck and the top of her chest with equally fervent kisses, his breathing becoming deeper.

When Anna began to feel her end nearing, she stopped with her kisses and John seemed to realise this too, for he stopped in his ministrations, each of them now looking the other in the eyes, panting almost breathlessly. Their movements continued as they watched each other closely, watched as their ends neared, and soon Anna was arching her back, her mouth hanging open as she called out his name breathlessly. John followed soon after, calling her name over and over again like a mantra as he let his face drop into the crook of her neck and shoulder.

Anna kept her arms wrapped around her husband, closing her eyes and revelling in the closeness they finally been able to share after months apart. She brought her hands up to cradle his head against her softly, occasionally dropping a loving kiss to it and whispering words of love and affection.

And they stayed that way, wrapped in each other's embrace, until the early hours of the morning, reaffirming their love again and devoting themselves to each other over and over again with whispered promises.

He knew she would need those words tomorrow.

* * *

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust."

The graveyard was almost silent, bar the voice of the vicar and the occasional shedding of a tear.

A lot of the village had come to the funeral, all to show their support. It warmed Anna's heart that her sister was such a popular person in the village, and had been evidently appreciated amongst her community. She had received many sympathies from the villagers and a lot of wishes for the future, some urging her to send them letters every so often to let them know how Elizabeth was getting on.

Anna had reached for Lizzy at that stage, pulling her softly into her side.

John had not left their side throughout the service, and Anna knew that without him there she would have crumbled. They shared a brief embrace under the shadow of a tree when almost everyone had left the graveyard. One of the villagers had taken Lizzy along to the local pub where a small gathering would be held whilst Anna and John had spoken to the vicar and arranged some important matters.

"You can do this," John whispered as he pulled Anna into his chest, letting her cry the remainder of her tears. He rubbed his hands up and down her back comfortingly. She sniffed in his arms. "Just a little longer," he continued to reassure her. "Just a little longer then it's just us."

He knew she was feeling self-conscious, especially after she had almost broken down in the middle of her speech during the service. When Anna's voice had started to wobble, John knew that she was close to breaking. She had cast one glance up at him, and in that instance he had been up there with her, helping her continue.

John did not want her to be feeling like this. He wanted her to grieve as she should be doing at the loss of her sister and close friend. But, as he thought carefully, she would probably cope better when the three of them had returned home, when she felt comfortable within her surroundings.

"Are you ready?"

After a few moments of contemplative silence, Anna nodded her head against his chest. She stood back a moment later, her gloved hands wiping at her eyes and nose.

John instantly drew out his handkerchief, offering it to her. "Here."

She smiled her gratitude and took the handkerchief, coincidentally one which she had stitched his initials into the corner during his time in prison. It had been one of the tasks that had reminded her that she was his wife, and it had felt so domestic. It would just be like mending his clothes – his shirts or socks – when the two of them would eventually have a home of their own. It had been one of the few tasks she had found comfort in.

When Anna had finished with his handkerchief, she folded it carefully and slipped it back into his jacket pocket.

Their closeness did not go unnoticed by the two of them, and both offered the other a sheepish smile. John lifted his hand and wiped away the remaining traces of her tears, and she subconsciously leant into his touch.

"Ready?"

He offered her his arm, and she took it as husband and wife made their way to the gathering.

* * *

Not even an hour had passed, and already Anna was ready to go.

John had bought her a cider, but she had failed to even touch it. She spent most of her time looking across at Lizzy as she sat in a seat in the corner of the pub, fidgeting with her dress, although smiling politely when someone approached her.

She had been so brave, Anna thought, as she cast her mind back to the service, she had barely heard a sound from the little girl at all. Even when Anna had started to cry, Lizzy had seemed determined not to.

Anna could feel her husband behind her, his hand splayed across the small of her back. He knew she was beginning to feel out of sorts here, and once Anna had turned around she noticed that he too was looking across at Lizzy with the same concern as she.

"We should get her back soon," John spoke softly. "Are you hungry? We can get something to eat here, it will save you cooking something later."

Anna shook her head. "I'm not hungry. But you should eat something, and Lizzy should."

"You need to eat too," John protested.

"I'll be right as rain," Anna replied, rolling her eyes at his concerned expression. "Honestly. I can rustle up a sandwich later if I need to. And I could always steal some of yours."

John shot her a despairing look and rolled his eyes but she shook it off.

Sighing, he conceded defeat. Anna swatted him lightly on the arm and watched with a tender smile as he walked across the room to Lizzy, slowly sitting down beside her.

She watched as Lizzy smiled slightly and nodded at whatever John was saying to her, before the little girl took his hand and the two of them began to head across the room towards the bar. Anna watched as John settled Lizzy down in a quieter booth, away from the main gathering in the pub, and then went across to the bar and ordered their food. Anna felt as though she could fall in love with him over and over again when she watched him take care of Lizzy, as she noticed the bond that the two had formed after such a short time.

John looked up for a moment and caught her eye, winking as he saw her.

She felt her stomach flutter, and she smiled back. _God I love him_, she thought to herself before going across to sit with the two most important people in her life.

* * *

Anna was packing up the last of the kitchen utensils into a large box later that evening, watching Lizzy on her swing from the window, when John came up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist. He kissed her neck, unable to resist, and Anna hummed in response.

"At least we should have our cottage by this weekend," John suggested.

Anna smiled and allowed her head to fall back against his shoulder, "At last."

John chuckled, tightening his hold around her. "It will be nice to have our own space at last, and somewhere Lizzy can settle into."

At the mention of Lizzy, the two of them looked up and out of the window at the little girl who was still sat on her swing, her expression seemingly far, far away. Neither thought about going outside to get her yet, despite the time getting on and the fact that she would need to be in bed soon to get enough sleep before returning to Downton Abbey tomorrow. Both wanted to respect her privacy and, since the cottage would be sold soon, wanted to give her some time in the only home she had ever known.

Anna was only so aware of how difficult it was to leave home for the first time – as was John – and she was highly appreciative that the family had managed to secure their cottage for this week so Lizzy would soon have a place to associate with _home_.

"What are we going to do about the cottage – the proceeds?" Anna suddenly asked John.

"We could speak to Mr Murray," John suggested. "Maybe we could use them for Lizzy's schooling in the future? Or whatever else she might want. Let her choose when she is older."

Anna nodded silently and moved her arms, her hands covering his as they lay together across her stomach.

John chanced a look at the time. Past nine o'clock now.

"Come on, let's get her inside. She needs sleep, and so do you."

Anna did not need to be asked twice.


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N: **This should have been up yesterday, but through moving back to Uni there just wasn't time. Updates will probably be on Sundays from now on, though if I can keep ahead with writing them. Thank you so much for the response again. And thank you **testship**, as always, for helping me with these chapters. Since _that _episode has just aired in the US, here's A/B moving into their new cottage. I hope you enjoy it.

* * *

**The Long and Winding Road**

**Chapter Five**

Once back from the funeral on Tuesday, the three of them would have to stay at the big house until the cottage would be finished. Lord Grantham had informed John that it would be ready for them on Friday, and as soon as he relayed this information to Anna, a glorious, eager and excited smile had crossed her lips.

The two of them – husband and wife – huddled close together in the courtyard, willing away the cold night wrapped in their coats. But nothing could dampen their spirits tonight. The funeral was still hanging over them, and Anna was still a little subdued, but John had made it his personal mission to make it increasingly easier for her to deal with. This meant coming out here when it was freezing cold and letting the temperature bite at his knee just to gain a few moments alone with her, to talk about their new home and to tease each other about the possibilities.

"I imagine a little sitting room," John breathed into her hair.

"Where you can make us some tea after a long day at work," Anna replied instantly, snuggling further into his side.

"Well, we'll see about that."

Anna knew John was teasing her, but she still dug her elbow into his side playfully. Ever since their friendship had begun all those years ago, most significantly in his first autumn at Downton, the two of them had taken turns to make the tea as their night time conversations had started to flow. It had been much the same since he had returned a few of weeks ago. John had always treated her as his equal during a time when a woman's place in the world was rapidly beginning to change. It had been refreshing to speak with a man who saw her as level with him, and their intellectual conversations about books in Lord Grantham's library had proven that. Whilst Anna had never really spent much time in education, her leaving school and working on her parents' farm before working in service, she had strived to learn to read and write as well as she could, and she had taken full advantage of the library available to them. And Anna also sensed that their marriage would be an equal partnership, unlike a lot of working-class marriages she had seen in her life. Her mother had always warned her about obeying her husband and being a good wife, but Anna knew that when she had found John, it was a different situation entirely.

They were friends, as well as lovers. For a long time before she had started to accept her love for him, she had accepted his friendship and the delightful company he provided her with.

"Penny for them?"

John drew Anna away from her thoughts in his low, sultry tone and a kiss to her temple.

"Oh, I think you'll find they're worth a lot more than that, Mr Bates."

"I don't doubt that," he whispered hoarsely, angling his mouth so that he could kiss her properly, an action Anna willingly responded to.

She sighed against his lips, allowing a whole multitude of feelings to wash over her as his lips moved softly, tentatively before slowly beginning to deepen the kiss. Anna felt his tongue sweep across her lips and she opened her mouth willingly, letting him deepen the kiss as he explored her mouth, tasting her.

But, as always, they had to stop before their embrace became too heated.

It was something the two of them had always struggled to abide by, but in their time together one small slip could have meant a lot in terms of their jobs and their reputation. He could hardly be caught by the stalwart butler in some kind of mad throe with Anna in the courtyard.

But as John pulled away regretfully, images of their cottage entered his mind, and suddenly his desire was pacified, even if only slightly.

"We can do a lot more when we have our own bedroom."

Anna giggled against his lips, leaning back as she smoothed her hands over his jacket.

"That we can," Anna breathed.

"And there will be a bathroom of our own."

Anna had always had to share a bathroom, for as long as she could remember. First, as part of a fairly large family and second as a maid in service. It would be a nice and welcome change to only have to share with two other people. In fact, it would be nice to just have a home to call her own. It was going to be a new experience for all of them.

"And a kitchen," Anna added.

"Though I hardly think you will be doing much cooking in there." John suggested, wrapping his arm around her tightly. "Not when we are needed here so often."

He was right, Anna thought. But on some occasions, she would cook him dinner in their own kitchen. She imagined cooking him a pie, maybe on her afternoon off, and then he would come home, and the three of them would sit around the table together. Anna imagined those times would be cherished. And then, if she dared think so far into the future, when she left service to tend to their own family, she would cook for their children, and maybe even her husband too if Lord Grantham would give him some nights off. Nights off to spend together as a family, curled up in front of a roaring fire, reading from a book that the children loved. John would be the one to read aloud, the children would prefer his reading and the voices he made. She would delight in hearing him read and making them laugh.

Anna felt her heart flutter at the thought of children in the future.

"Have you spoken to Mrs Hatchet yet?" John asked her.

Anna nodded. "Yes, she has agreed to take care of her, starting after our week off."

Mrs Hatchet was an older lady in the village, and she and her late husband had been tenants on the Grantham land for as long as Anna had been in service and Anna had met the kind, old lady in church. Her husband had passed away almost a year ago, and her two sons now helped on the farm to keep it running, although Lord Grantham had been very accommodating to their situation.

When Anna had asked her about the possibilities of looking after Lizzy during the day, Mrs Hatchet had agreed willingly, pleased to have someone to look after throughout the day. Anna presumed it would take her mind off a lot of things, and the old lady had agreed to a schedule where she would take Lizzy back to the cottage later in the afternoon and wait with her there until Anna and John returned home from work. Her farm was only a five minute walk from the cottage and, although she had insisted that she could walk back alone, Anna had insisted that either she or John would walk back with her.

It was not the most ideal of circumstances, but until John and Anna had saved up enough for her to leave service, it was one of their only options. Their savings would tide them over for a while, but husband and wife knew that, in the long term, this would work out better for them.

"Good," John murmured, kissing her temple. "It will be easier when Lizzy starts school, too."

Technically, Lizzy was old enough now to start school. However, John and Anna wanted to wait a little while until she went, as the two of them were still concerned about her reaction to Rose's death and the funeral. Neither of them wanted to pressure her into starting at a new school before she was ready.

"I suppose so," Anna sighed, and John wrapped his arm a little tighter around her. "I'll speak to Lady Mary too, and see if I can finish earlier some nights a week."

"I'm sure we can manage that."

"Although if we have to go to London…"

"We will arrange something," John promised her.

Anna turned to face her husband and smiled slightly, accepting his promise.

She knew that managing their work and personal lives now was going to be increasingly difficult. It was always going to be a struggle, married life in service. Most of their time would be spent at the Abbey, tending to their master and mistress, and their tiredness and fatigue would most probably affect them greatly in the months to come. They would probably snap at each other because of their tiredness, and their married relations would be a substitute for precious sleep, but in the end their love would survive anything.

They would just take everything one step at a time.

* * *

Anna struggled with the final button on Lady Mary's dress. The small, white thing was fiddly and it took her a couple more moments than normal to fix. Eventually, she got it though, and let out a happy sigh. Anna reached around Lady Mary for her hair brush, and her lady instantly recognised the action and sat down at her dressing table.

Her hair was already loose, a sign which Anna had taken to mean Mr Matthew had gotten a little carried away the night before. She smirked at the thought, remembering the way John had played with her hair that night before the funeral. He had been just as fascinated with her hair on their wedding night. Anna had always had a sensitive scalp; she loved when he played with her hair. If a strand had come loose throughout the day and they were outside together, he would take it between his fingers, fascinated.

She would often tease him about it, but she secretly loved his hair just as much.

"You seem very preoccupied," Lady Mary spoke up, her eyes looking at her maid through the mirror, sparkling knowingly.

"Only good things, m'lady."

"And I'm very glad to hear it." Lady Mary smirked. Silence descended across the room for a few moments, before Lady Mary spoke up. "Have you decided where Lizzy will stay after your week off?"

Anna smiled slightly. "We have," she replied. "Mrs Hatchet from the village has agreed to look after her for the time being, until we feel she is ready to go back to school."

"Well, she could always stay here?" Lady Mary suggested. "I hardly think little Sybbie's nanny would mind. She could be looked after in familiar surroundings."

Anna was touched at the gesture, but she had to refuse, and shook her head. "The routine would tire her out, and Mr Bates and I want her to feel comfortable in the cottage. But thank you, m'lady."

Lady Mary nodded, understanding. "You must be looking forward to your week off."

Anna nodded, smiling happily. "Very much, m'lady. It will be lovely."

"Have you planned anything yet?"

"We thought we could make the cottage our own," Anna suggested. "And take a trip or two into Ripon, and maybe a picnic."

"It sounds lovely," Lady Mary lifted her eyebrows, aware of all the _other things _the couple would be getting up to.

Anna noticed the look her lady was giving her and shyly averted her eyes, noticing through the mirror that her cheeks were turning bright red.

But as Lady Mary strayed away from _that _subject, Anna began to think about all of those things. She cast her mind back to their wedding night, in the room Lady Mary had arranged for them just down the hallway, and also to Sunday night, when she and John had finally come together once more. She smiled at the memories, and as she began to contemplate the upcoming week, she felt herself blushing even more, thinking of all the possibilities.

"Thank you, Anna."

Without realising, Anna had finished Lady Mary's hair. She supposed that, since she had been doing it for years, she could do it in her sleep. Or a daydream.

Anna, who noticed her face was still a little flushed, quickly nodded and left the room, intent on finding her husband downstairs.

Instead, however, the first person she came across was Lizzy. She was stood in the kitchen with Mrs Patmore and Daisy, the latter who she seemed to have struck up a friendship with and the three of them seemed to be stood over some project or other. Lizzy was stood on a stool because of their height difference, and Anna felt her heart swell when she heard her little niece laughing at something Mrs Patmore had said to Daisy.

As Daisy moved away to fetch something from across the room, Anna saw that the three of them had been baking a cake.

Anna leant against the door frame, smiling at their handiwork, and as Lizzy turned around and greeted her with a smile, she asked her teasingly, "Will I be getting any?"

Mrs Patmore turned upon hearing her voice, and smiled sympathetically at the woman she had always considered a friend. "_This _is for upstairs, I'm afraid. Isn't it, Lizzy?"

Lizzy nodded as Anna smiled, slowly approaching the trio, running her hand along Lizzy's back in a comforting and soothing gesture. She looked over her shoulder at the delicious looking cake, and contemplated their reason for baking it. "Am I not allowed _any_? It looks delicious."

Lizzy giggled to herself, and Anna saw her and Daisy exchange a smirk across the kitchen table.

"Mrs Patmore was only joking," Daisy informed Anna, preparing some icing sugar.

Anna widened her eyes and turned her head so that she could look into the eyes of her niece, narrowing her own dramatically. "You _tricked _me?" Anna gasped, moving her hands to Lizzy's sides as she began to tickle her sides, causing the girl to twist and turn in her arms.

Lizzy shrieked as Anna continued to tickle her.

"What's going on?" John asked as he entered the kitchen, laughing at the sight.

"This little madam is running her aunt ragged," Anna supplied him, stopping her torturing and instead bringing her arms around the little girl's waist affectionately.

"Somehow I find that hard to believe," John quipped, shooting a wink at Lizzy.

She smiled at him in response.

"Oh, really?" Anna asked. "I see how it is, you two turning against me already."

"Anna!" A voice suddenly appeared from behind Anna, in the archway that was opposite to Mr Carson's pantry door. As Anna turned around to greet the familiar voice, she discovered Mrs Hughes stood there, smiling at the scene in front of her. "Anna, do you have a moment?"

"Of course," Anna smiled, brushing her hand across Lizzy's back once more before following the housekeeper into her sitting room.

Lizzy then turned to John, who gave her a reassuring smile.

"Are you staying here, or do you want to come through with me?" John asked her and waited for her response.

Lizzy, in response, turned to Mrs Patmore who had just started in her preparations for the dinner upstairs – well, as far as preparations went for the cook, because she was simply listing off instructions to Ivy and another of the kitchen maids.

It was Daisy, however, who responded, "I can finish off here, it's all right. There's just the icing to do."

Lizzy smiled shyly at Daisy and made to turn around and step off the stool before realising it was a little higher than originally thought. But before she could even turn and ask for assistance, Lizzy found John stood beside her, opening his arm for her and offering his help.

Lizzy beamed silently up at him, and John found himself enamoured by her kind and genuine smile. The little girl willingly went into his arms, and John wrapped it strongly around her before planting Lizzy firmly on the ground.

As Lizzy walked on ahead of him, John found himself watching her lovingly, ever thankful for Anna and her family in his life.

* * *

The light from the servants' hall that night came from the flickering candle in the centre of the table. It created an earthy glow to the room, and in the back of her mind, Anna remembered a time in the past when she and John had sat here, with a cup of tea, talking about their future. It had been a time she would remember fondly for all of her life, despite the shadows that cast around her heart only a couple of days after that night – when John had been manipulated to leave with Vera.

But now, as she sat with her husband, their hopes were just as high for the future. And this time, the two of them would be moving into their little cottage the next morning.

It was a late Thursday night, it was even approaching midnight now, and tomorrow morning the two of them, and Lizzy, would be moving their belongings into their new home. And neither one of them could sleep, their excitement having reached new levels.

As John stood up to go and make them both another cup of tea, Anna watched him go, a fond smile fixing across her face. She contemplated him as he walked down the hallway and into the kitchen, which was even more dimly lit than the hall, her eyes glistening. Everyone had gone to bed almost an hour ago, but neither of them had the heart to leave each other tonight, at least not yet. John had been reading his book before everyone else had gone to bed, so once the married couple were left alone, Anna had insisted he read some of that to her.

She enjoyed listening to his voice as he read, but when it had been her turn she had quickly wanted to change the subject.

In truth, it had not just been her unwillingness to read. She had been agitated, but in an excited way, all night and found that all she wanted to do was talk about the cottage. Her husband had happily indulged her, and for the next thirty or forty minutes, they had discussed their new cottage, speculated about its insides and professing eagerly that tomorrow they would know for themselves.

They had talked about the cottage until John had asked if she wanted another cup of tea.

Sighing to herself, and given that her husband was out of her view, Anna pulled forward his book and began to flick through the pages. There was a small note in the front of the book, a little reminder from his mother that it had been a birthday present twelve years ago. Anna smiled, fondly remembering Mrs Bates – the lady whose name she now shared – and the times she had met her. The first time had been before the war, when she had gone to seek his innocence and the second during the war when Lord Grantham and the family had visited their London home briefly and John had taken her to visit his mother himself.

Anna still remembered that day well. It had been the closest thing to being his wife in those days – him taking her to meet his mother. She had laughed and joked with Margaret Bates in the kitchen as John hovered in the doorway, ensuring that neither of them were exchanging particularly embarrassing stories, and she had fixed him a cup of tea, just like she would now in their cottage. Anna had helped her cook a light dinner for them, and the domesticity of the scene had hit Anna, so much so that she had become a little too emotional on the walk back to Grantham House and had confessed it all to John.

Their relationship had still been fairly new at that time, he having only just admitting that he did love her too, even though she had seen it in his expressions and gestures for some time already, but he had still taken her for a romantic walk in the park and eased her worries with a sweep of his thumb across her hand or a kiss upon her lips.

"It's your turn," came his voice from out of nowhere, causing Anna to jump. Her eyes focused back on him as she watched him laugh to himself, sitting down beside her and placing her cup in front of her. "You were miles away."

Anna laughed herself, "So it would seem."

"Can I ask where?"

Anna smiled sadly and pointed to his mother's handwriting in the front of the book, "Just remembering the times I met your mother."

John smiled too, his eyes softening as he turned his head from the book to his wife.

"She did like you."

"And I liked her," Anna responded quickly, reaching out her hand to take his. "Now, is it my turn?"

John smirked at her, nodding slowly as he sat even further back in the chair.

Anna knew he loved her reading out loud just as much as she loved hearing him. She often tried, and succeeded, to wriggle her way out of reading, and John being John could hardly bare to refuse her. But tonight she wanted to, and she tried even harder than usual to adjust her tone when she would read different characters, just like he did.

Eventually, though, her reading was disrupted by his hand rubbing her thigh firmly through the fabric of her dress.

Anna turned her face to look at him, her eyes narrowing playfully.

He simply smiled sheepishly.

"Is there anything I can help you with, Mr Bates?"

He smirked, his thumb smoothing circles across her dress. But then his gaze softened and his touch stopped, his palm lying flat across her thigh but not moving. "You should go to sleep, it's almost one."

Anna shook her head. "I want to be awake." She could see he was about to argue again. "Mr Bates, we have plenty of time to sleep over the next week."

There was a certain seductive lilt to her voice, one that John had been slowly getting used to ever since he had been released from prison. He felt something stirring in the pit of his stomach just from listening to her.

"Amongst other things," Anna then added coyly.

Now John narrowed his eyes and squeezed her thigh gently, causing her eyes to flutter closed and her mouth to hang open a little. "You naughty girl."

Anna's eyes fluttered open, and John shuddered when he saw them full of desire.

"And what sort of things would these be?" John asked hoarsely.

"That's enough of that, Mr Bates." Anna laughed, moving her hand over his on her thigh.

She watched as his face fell.

"You little temptress."

Anna leant forwards, moving her lips closer and closer to his face and looking as though she would kiss his lips before she turned at the last minute and moved them to his ear. She kissed some of the skin along his hairline before nibbling on his ear lobe, emitting a groan from her husband as she suppressed the urge to giggle.

"I suppose you will have to wait until tomorrow and find out."

* * *

John reached out his arm and turned the key in the lock, letting the door swing open in front of them.

Their belongings were around their feet, a car had brought them from the Abbey upon His Lordship's insistence. John could feel Anna literally bouncing with excitement at his side.

He watched as Anna encouraged Lizzy to go inside first ahead of them, and the little girl walked in cautiously, but soon disappeared down the little corridor.

"Shall we, Mrs Bates?"

Anna turned her head to look at him, smiling as she reached down to take his hand, squeezing it gently.

They shared a sweet, slow kiss before walking into their cottage – their new home – together.

* * *

John stood, leaning against the doorframe, watching his wife with an insanely large and content smile across his face.

Anna was stood in _their _kitchen, preparing them both a cup of tea before they would retire to bed. He had been unable to resist watching her earlier too as she had heated them a meal (Mrs Patmore had not let them leave this morning without presenting them with a healthy sized meat pie, claiming that Anna should not have to cook on her first night) and he had revelled in the domesticity of the scene. Watching Anna potter around their home, fixing things on the wall or pushing them back into their right place to keep the cottage tidy had started to send a thrill through his body. They had explored the cottage thoroughly earlier, from the sitting room to the bedroom, and even the garden outside. There was a spacious spare bedroom that would belong to Lizzy, and she had been content in there throughout the day, putting her own belongings in their new places as her aunt and uncle had done the same thing in their bedroom. The three of them had sat outside for a little while after finishing the meat pie, enjoying the evening air in their new garden before Anna had ushered them both inside, claiming that she did not wish for either of them to become ill.

They had settled Lizzy in bed just half an hour ago now – she had been falling asleep against Anna in their sitting room whilst he had read silently and Anna had begun knitting Lizzy a new scarf for winter. She had been easy to settle, despite both their worries that she would feel uneasy in unfamiliar surroundings.

Following this, Anna had told him to go into the sitting room and continue with his book while she made them some tea. He had tried to argue and insist he made the tea, but she had fixed him with a firm look; one that John knew he would somehow fall victim to a lot during their years together here.

But John had been restless in the sitting room without her, and now here he was, stood by the door, watching his wife as she fixed him a cup.

Unable to resist any longer, John approached her from behind, wrapping his arms around her waist. Anna did not jump, and although he was surprised, his attention was soon taken as she placed her own hands across his, holding them together.

John began to kiss her neck, eliciting soft moans from Anna as she tilted her head sideways to grant him further access to her soft, creamy skin. He felt a surge of desire course through his body when Anna lifted one of her hands and began to run her fingers through his hair, gripping it as he continued to kiss and nip at her neck.

"Mm, John," Anna murmured, and soon gasped as John bit her neck teasingly, before she felt his tongue sweep across the piece of skin.

"Shall we go to bed?"

Anna turned her head and raised an eyebrow, and suddenly teased, "We didn't get much sleep last night."

But her teasing did not faze John. Instead, her husband moved his hands from her front and slowly began to stroke her sides through the dress she was wearing, feeling her shudder beneath his touch.

"I don't think we will tonight either," John growled into her ear, surprising Anna as he suddenly lifted her into his arms and sat her on the edge of the kitchen table.

Anna squealed as she was lifted into the air, but was prevented from laughing as his lips were suddenly crushing against her own, silencing any sound she would make. She joined in the kiss eagerly, opening her mouth when his tongue stroked against her lips, mimicking his actions as she tasted him.

It was only when he moved his lips away and began to wreath the skin of her neck in kisses that Anna began to think about the practicality of this all. Her eyes drifted across her husband and began to breathe out as best she could in considering his current actions, "Your leg…"

"… is fine."

"But…"

Anna was silenced again by his lips as John began to unbutton the front of her dress, kissing the skin that was revealed to him there.

"Why move to the bedroom when we can stay here?" John asked throatily, looking up for permission as he reached some of the last buttons.

Anna giggled and nodded for both, her own hands moving to relieve her husband of his waistcoat and shirt.

John continued to kiss her as her hands delightfully ran through his hair, removing all traces of the pomade he had applied that morning.

They had plenty of time later to move upstairs, the thought crossed in the back of Anna's mind as her husband continued to cover her skin with kisses, bringing her to the heights of her own pleasure.

* * *

John watched her sleeping, revelling in the peaceful expression across her face. The rays of sun that had managed to seep through the space between the curtains splayed out across her face, creating a beautiful colour to her skin. Her lips were parted just slightly, and gentle rasps of breath were blowing against his shoulder where she laid her head. The beautiful, blonde tresses that he had always been captured by fell down her back and John had to resist the urge to brush his hands through them, not wanting to wake her.

The two had barely got any sleep last night, what with Lizzy waking once in the night and also becoming _reacquainted _with themselves again. As a result of the latter, the sunlight also splayed across her naked back and John was fascinated as he watched the light dance across it.

As he craned his head, he felt Anna begin to stir gently.

He chastised himself for being the cause of her waking, but he soon felt that guilt disappearing as he watched her scrunch her eyes up, trying to fight waking up, but smiling all the same as she recognised where she was.

"I've always imagined this," Anna spoke, her voice still full of sleep as she stretched against him, her breasts pressing against his side, causing him to shudder.

"What's that?" John asked happily, trailing his fingers up and down her arm.

"Waking up next to you for the first time," Anna replied before propping her head up with her arm, allowing her to look down at him. "In our cottage."

John grinned.

"And does it live up to your imagination?"

"How could it not?" Anna asked him sweetly, leaning down to press her lips quickly to his, greeting him a good morning.

John brought his hand up to stroke her hair, taking some of it between his fingers.

"Is Lizzy awake yet?"

"I haven't heard her," John informed.

Anna nodded. "Mrs Hatchet said she would pop around in a few days, just to see her, you know."

John smiled, still fascinated with her hair.

"We need to go into Ripon too, I want to get some new curtains for Lizzy's room."

"We can go on Tuesday." That way they had a few days all to themselves to settle into their cottage. Anna shared a look with husband that said she understood his reasoning. They grinned at each other.

"I should make some breakfast," Anna announced, moving to sit up, the bed covers falling around her waist.

Anna turned and smiled at her husband shyly, her top half now bare.

John grinned at the sight and reached his arm across and around her waist, pulling her back down onto the bed. His lips moved and searched for hers once again, and Anna willingly responded.

She moaned in despair when he pulled away. "You stay here," he insisted, already slipping out from underneath the duvet cover.

"But, John…"

He turned around to face her, still in the middle of finding his night clothes and robe. John grinned, "I insist. I _can_ make scrambled eggs."

Anna could hardly refuse him when he stood there naked in front of her. So, she simply fell back against the pillow and watched as he struggled to find his night clothes strewn across the bedroom, a smile never leaving her lips.

* * *

Tuesday came, and so did their trip to Ripon. Anna managed to find all that she needed to at this moment in time – she would continue to pick little things up for the cottage over the coming months – and after treating themselves to a hot drink and some sandwiches at a teahouse, the three of them set off back to Downton.

Mrs Hatchet had come to introduce herself to Lizzy earlier that afternoon, but as evening drew in and Anna was preparing their dinner, she began to notice her niece becoming even more withdrawn. When she had mentioned it to John just before their dinner, he had proposed that Mrs Hatchet's arrival earlier could have been hard-hitting for Lizzy, almost as though all of this was real – not that the old lady was unkind, just unfamiliar. Anna had nodded and agreed, but had sought to uncover the truth later at dinner.

As it happened, Lizzy was even quieter at dinner and only picked at her food.

"Are you all right?" Anna asked softly after Lizzy had pushed a carrot around her plate more than three times.

Lizzy looked up and shrugged. But after a few more moments in silence, she spoke up and asked to be excused.

"Of course you can," Anna responded. "Have you had enough?"

Lizzy nodded solemnly and got up, immediately heading for the door that led to the garden.

Anna sighed after she left, placing down her own fork and fumbling for her glass of water.

"This was all going to hit her eventually," John supplied, reaching across the table to cover his wife's hand.

Anna sniffed and nodded.

"The food was delicious," he spoke again, attempting to make her smile.

Anna smiled feebly through her clouded eyes. "Good," she choked. "I spent enough time fretting over it."

John smiled at her and began to stroke his thumb across the back of her hand.

After the two of them had finished their meal and had washed up all the pots from dinner, John walked across to the table and collected his cane from the back of his chair.

"I'll go and check on her," John offered.

It was getting dark outside, they knew it would be time for Lizzy to go to bed soon.

"John, it's fine, I can…"

"Go in there and relax." John gestured to the sitting room. "Make a cup of tea, read a book," he suggested, smiling in _that _way. "We won't be long."

Anna sighed and admitted defeat, pulling him towards her and wrapping her arms around his middle. He willingly wrapped his arms around her too, pulling her further into his chest as he felt her heave a sigh of relief and relax against his frame. John smiled, and rubbed his hands up and down her back, feeling some of the tension leave her. She found that his loving touches and reassurance were all that she could ever need.

* * *

John opened the back door and peered out into the garden, only spotting Lizzy through the light coming from the full moon above. It was a clear night, and the stars were already making themselves known, casting a striking glow across the night sky. Lizzy was sat over by the large tree in the corner of their garden that must have been planted years and years ago, its branches hung over the fence that surrounded the garden and John had come to the conclusion not too long ago that the three of them would be graced with plenty of apples in the next year.

As he approached her, she looked up to acknowledge him. Lizzy smiled slightly but quickly turned to fidget with the hem of her dress.

"May I join you?"

Lizzy looked up at John and shrugged before switching her eyes to the blades of grass, beginning to pick at them nervously.

John cautiously lowered himself to the ground despite knowing that Anna would chastise him for doing this to his knee, as well as getting dirt on his trousers. He smirked as he briefly imagined her telling him off, before he turned his attentions to the little girl beside him.

"You know," he began, hoping this line of topic would help her. "When my mother died, I felt a little bit lost for a while." Well, a little bit was an understatement. But John reminded himself that he was talking to a six-year-old girl, not Anna. "Without your aunt, I would have felt very alone, and sad."

"When did she die?" Lizzy suddenly asked quietly, so quietly John could barely hear her.

"Quite a long time ago now, in the middle of the war."

"That's when my dad died," Lizzy whispered, subconsciously nudging closer to John.

"I know," John whispered back, lifting his arm so Lizzy could settle against his side.

She did so willingly, and John heard her sniffling against his shirt.

"I miss my mum," Lizzy revealed from against his shirt, and this only served to make John tighten his hold around her. He did not respond, wanting to see if Lizzy would say anything else. John only had to wait a few more minutes before she did, "Sometimes I feel really sad, but other times I don't."

John felt his heart tighten. He felt his shirt dampen as Lizzy cried against him, but he continued to say nothing, just wanting to comfort her for now.

"You know, Lizzy, no one expects you to feel right again for a long time," John started, and as he started to realise she had stopped crying, he continued. "Different people will feel differently," John was choosing his words carefully, aware that he was talking to someone so young. "It does not make you a bad person if you don't feel as sad sometimes, or at all. Not being sad doesn't mean you have forgotten your mum, or that you didn't love her."

He heard Lizzy sniff again. John rubbed his hand up and down her arm.

"Really?" John eventually heard her ask.

His heart broke at the weakness in her voice, the doubt. He reassured her with one word.

"Really."

Lizzy seemed to accept his word, and the two of them continued to then talk about whatever came across their minds. They spoke about her mother first, and then his and then Anna. John reassured and reminded Lizzy that she could go and speak to her aunt about any of this, and that she would understand.

"Speaking of your aunt, I think we should go inside and find her before she starts to worry. What do you say?"

Lizzy looked up at John for the first time since their conversation had started and nodded, smiling even if only slightly.

"Come on, then."


	7. Chapter 6

**A/N: **Thank you again for the response, and thank you **testship**. Hope you all enjoy this chapter, time is starting to move on a bit more.

* * *

**The Long and Winding Road**

**Chapter Six**

Their week off work passed too quickly for any of their liking, but it did end, as all things must, and the three of them began to settle into their new routine. John and Anna would wake up early – earlier than they would ever had had to at the Abbey – get prepared for the day, and then wake Lizzy, who they would drop off at Mrs Hatchet's farm. In the afternoon, Lizzy and Mrs Hatchet would often go back to the Bates cottage, and the old lady would stay there with her until either John or Anna finished work and arrived back, and one of them would make the walk back with her before returning themselves.

And so the months passed like this. Lizzy had started to overcome the worst of her grief it seemed, and her crying and nightmares had become a rarity. She was still quiet at times, some more than others, but it was nothing that either John or Anna could handle. Lizzy had become quite adept to speaking with her aunt or uncle about any of the issues that plagued her six-year-old mind, and either one of them could make her feel better.

Anna sat in the servants' hall with a cup of tea on a particularly warm January afternoon, mending one of Lady Mary's dresses. The hall was empty, everyone else was either tending to the family or away doing their own tasks. Anna found that this silence began to encourage her mind to delve into the memories of the last few months.

She thought about Lizzy, and how proud she had been with her over the last few months. The little girl had shown such strength of character, stronger than her at times, and Anna found that she would always admire her niece. Lizzy had formed a strong bond with John, often asking him to tell her stories or read to her at night. Anna had once joked that she could read her stories too, and Lizzy had cast a sheepish glance before holding out the book to her before Anna had dismissed her with a laugh and a shake of her head. But she loved to watch John in this role.

She had told him this many times, but one always stuck in her mind. A time when she had been tired, fatigue had caught up with her, and so had the grief. She had returned home later than usual, just a few days after Christmas, John had already been home, taken Mrs Hatchet back and returned by the time she had trudged through the door, sighing loudly. He had been sat up in bed with a book waiting for her, offering her a smile as she walked into their bedroom. It was then that everything surged over her like a wave and suddenly everything came crashing down. She crumbled. She stood there, crying loudly, as John leaped out of bed and wrapped her up in his arms. He had led her to their bed and held her while she cried, which turned out to be a long while, rubbing her back and soothing her with his words. Anna revealed that now, at Christmas, was the time she missed her sister most. She told her husband about her childhood memories with Rose, especially at Christmas, and with Daniel and her parents. She mourned the loss of them all that night. When she had calmed down completely, she had smiled and apologised for her outburst. John had dismissed that instantly. She had earned a scornful glance for needless depreciation. Anna had changed the subject by telling John that she loved watching him interact with Lizzy. He had smiled warmly, and had revealed that it had been his best Christmas, what with being free with her as his wife, and also a child to brighten it up even more.

Christmas _had _been wonderful, Anna thought as she remained sat at the table in the hall. It had been one of the best Christmas periods she had ever had. John had been here with her, and having Lizzy around added a sort of seasonal magic that could only really be had with a child in the house.

The family had been incredibly kind and given them the morning off together. Although this had, sadly, not meant that John or Anna could have a lie-in. Instead, Lizzy was in their bedroom bright and early, eager to go downstairs and see whether Father Christmas had been. Husband and wife were only happy enough to indulge her. They had both picked up a fair few things for Lizzy over the past few weeks during their trips to Ripon or Thirsk, and there was quite a pile under their glittering Christmas tree downstairs.

Anna and John had watched her happily from their little settee, wrapped up there together, and the morning had only brought one mournful moment. Lizzy's eyes had clouded over with tears when she had opened a present containing a little bag full of pretty, new hair ribbons and some basic, but attractive, hair pins. It had reminded her of one Christmas where Rose had bought her something similar. Anna and John had welcomed her up onto the settee with them, and within minutes the two of them had reassured and calmed her, indulging her with stories of how her mother would be celebrating too now. That had earned a smile from the little girl and John had proceeded to go and make them all a hot chocolate as a treat.

John and Lizzy had snuck themselves a few sweet treats that had been opened once Anna had gone to make them some breakfast, the former pressing a finger to his lips to ensure that his wife did not discover their treachery. Anna did question the sudden appearance of melted chocolate that was traced across the side of Lizzy's mouth, but John simply shook his head and claimed he had no idea what she was talking about.

The three of them had made their way to the Abbey for lunchtime, the family insisting that Lizzy could join the downstairs staff for their festivities, and neither Mr Carson nor Mrs Hughes minded in the slightest. She had laughed and squealed when she had pulled a cracker with Alfred and won, wearing her hat with pride as Anna stroked her hair lovingly, the others smiling at the burst of joy and excitement. Even Miss O'Brien liked having Lizzy around. She had even asked Lizzy about when she would be starting school, and the little girl had replied animatedly, revealing that she was to go to the local school, starting in January.

And she was flourishing. Anna was extremely proud when she had ran into one of her schoolteachers, Miss Bunting, in the village and the woman had praised Lizzy for settling in so well, despite having been there just less than a week. She had made good progress with her reading and writing, and although she was prone to some quiet moments she did interact well with the other children in her class.

Mrs Hatchet would now take Lizzy to school in the morning and collect her in the afternoon before giving her some tea at the Bateses cottage. Once every two weeks, Anna would have her afternoon off and she would pick Lizzy up from school. When she and John had different afternoons off, he would go and pick her up himself, although as a rule they would always try and get the same afternoon off so they could do things together as a family.

On a weekend, when Anna and John were not too busy, Mrs Hatchet would bring Lizzy up to the Abbey to spend some time with them. She was a little helper, often found around the kitchen helping Daisy and Mrs Patmore with little things. Mrs Hughes loved having her here, and Mr Carson rarely minded, as long as the family were not entertaining. Little Sybbie also enjoyed spending time with Lizzy, even if she was still young.

And that was how they found themselves this Saturday afternoon.

"Is Lizzy with you?"

Anna was brought from her thoughts as her husband entered the hall. She looked up and smiled at him, putting down her mending that she had all but finished. There was only one more button to stitch on, and that would barely take a minute.

"No, she went for a walk with Mr Branson and Miss Sybbie." Anna grinned.

Sybbie had recently been learning how to crawl, much to the chagrin of Mr Branson who had 'lost' her a few times now, having taken his eyes off her for a moment. Anna still remembered the day she had been walking down the corridor after setting out one of Lady Mary's dresses for the evening and had come across him looking flustered, a look of panic in his eyes. The two of them had found Sybbie together, she having crawled through an open door into one of the guest bedrooms.

Anna smiled in amusement as she remembered the event.

Sybbie had also become fond of Lizzy, and Lizzy of her. When Tom had come downstairs earlier to ask if Lizzy fancied coming for a walk with them – he must have seen her arriving earlier with Mrs Hatchet – she had jumped at the opportunity. She had asked if Anna would come with her, but she had to finish her mending, although she promised she would come and find them once she had finished.

"It is a lovely day."

"Unusually so for January."

John smirked. "England, unpredictable as ever."

Anna laughed lightly and got to her feet.

"I told her I would come and find them once I had finished this." Anna walked up to her husband, smiling sweetly as she reached for his hand. She asked him teasingly, "Would you care to join me?"

* * *

"Maybe we could look into taking a weekend off come spring."

"We could also take Lizzy away for a weekend," John suggested.

Anna seemed to think about it for a moment as the two of them walked around from the servant entrance to the front of the house where Tom had taken Lizzy and Sybbie for their walk. "That sounds lovely."

Both knew that in service their time off would be limited, that was always in their mind, and the two already felt as though they had taken advantage of the family's kind and giving nature. But as it happened, Lord Grantham had mentioned to John that morning about them taking some time off for a holiday, as a family. John promised he would mention it to Anna and they would consider the offer.

"Take you on a long overdue honeymoon," John suggested amiably, emitting a chuckle from Anna. "Spoil you."

Anna took his arm as they walked. "You know I'm not interested in any of that."

"Even so…"

Before John could continue, the two of them saw the others. Tom was holding a shrieking Sybil as she laughed and pointed at Lizzy who was running away from the two Bransons as they chased her around near the temple.

John watched as Anna lit up, her smile widening. They walked a little more of the way together before Anna let go of his arm, prompted by him, and went across to join them. John stood a little way from them, but not too far. He was part of their scene together, but he would not join in their game. Anna was now being chased with Lizzy, little Miss Sybbie still shrieking as her father laughed heartily at their interactions.

It suddenly struck John that he would never be this kind of father to their children, should they be blessed with them one day. He would be a loving and interactive father, that much he had made himself promise years ago when he had received little of the same from his father, but he would never be able to chase them around their garden. Would he even be able to lift them once they reached a certain age?

John was brought out of his thoughts when Mr Branson came over and joined him, thoroughly worn out from his exertions. He smiled at the man he still considered a friend, despite his position now upstairs as part of the family, before his eyes moved to settle back on the other three.

Anna had now taken Tom's place, holding Sybbie in her arms as they chased Lizzy.

"How is everything? At the cottage." Tom asked in his thick Irish brogue, in the middle of putting his jacket back on, having removed it earlier.

"Good," John replied. "Very nice."

"I expect you enjoyed your Christmas very much."

John answered with a nod, but he noticed the sadness in the voice of the younger man. Whilst he knew Mr Branson had enjoyed his Christmas thoroughly with his daughter, their first Christmas together, it must have been painful too, it being the first since Lady Sybil had passed away. He knew Lord Grantham had found it especially difficult.

The two men fell into a comfortable silence, both watching the most important people in the world to them interact.

Soon, Anna had worn herself and Lizzy out. The three of them subsequently made their way over to the men, all of them wearing wide grins. Lizzy instantly came to stand at John's side, asking as to whether he had been watching Anna chase her. He smiled and nodded, saying he did.

When John looked up, he noticed Anna speaking to Sybbie, whispering something in her ear and making her laugh loudly. John beamed at his wife, and if he looked to his side, he would have seen Tom smiling just as happily at the reaction Anna had provoked from his daughter. Sybbie was at the age now where she was becoming much more animated, often crawling and moving around of her own accord, causing quite the scare for her poor father on more than one occasion.

Anna was currently holding quite a conversation with Sybbie who was babbling and shrieking in response, her chubby, little hands clapping loudly.

"Did you really?" Anna asked Sybbie animatedly, shooting Mr Branson a smirk. "And what did Mr Carson say to that?"

John smiled, relishing watching the moment. He looked up at the sky, however, and noticed that a few clouds were drawing in. "Maybe we should start to head back." He gestured to the sky.

Anna looked across at him and nodded. She shuffled Sybbie around in her arms, intent on handing her back to her father when he shook his head. "She looks settled there."

Tom shot her a knowing look and Anna blushed and nodded, hitching Sybbie up a little more in her arms, sighing softly when the little girl rested her head in the crook of her neck.

Anna breathed in her baby scent as she walked just a step behind the others back to the house. She felt her heart tighten as she watched Lizzy reaching for John's hand as they walked and her mind suddenly flashed to an image of the future, she hoped, where she would be holding their own sleeping daughter whilst John walked ahead with Lizzy.

She had thought about children ever since John had first proposed all those years ago in the middle of the war. Even more so once they were married, although she had often avoided that train of thought during his time in prison, finding it too painful when the question of his release had still not been answered. When he had returned to her, it had been a different matter altogether. For the past few months she had watched him interact with Lizzy and had found herself longing for a child.

"Anna?"

John was calling her. She shook herself and looked up.

"You were away with the fairies!" Lizzy exclaimed. Anna chuckled, it was a phrase she had no doubt picked up from her, or her mother.

"So I was," Anna smiled, shaking off their concern.

All but John's.

He looked at her questioningly, concerned.

She shook her head, mouthing that she was fine.

And she was. She was sure.

* * *

Within a couple of weeks, Mary had also revealed some news to Anna.

"I suppose you ought to know, we were going to tell the others after dinner tonight."

Anna was stood, zipping up the back of her dress for tonight.

It was late January, and the biting cold had returned to Downton. Anna shivered just thinking about going back outside, even wrapped in her scarf and coat, to go back home.

"M'lady?" Anna asked, slightly confused.

It could be anything. She might be leaving for a trip around the world with Mr Matthew. She would need a maid, and Anna would not be in a position to do that. Even for a holiday that lasted over a week would be difficult. Anna hated to impose these troubles on Lady Mary, although she had always planned to hire a new maid herself if the situation would ever arise, as she was planning on doing when John had been imprisoned and Lady Mary and Mr Crawley were honeymooning.

Anna was spared the troubles.

"Mr Matthew and I are going to have a baby," Lady Mary responded gleefully, turning to look at Anna with a smile on her face. "You may have noticed _certain _changes recently."

Anna smiled in response and gave Lady Mary heartfelt congratulations. She started on her hair.

Now that Anna thought about it carefully, she had noticed some changes to her lady recently. Anna had simply thought she was putting on weight when she had struggled to tighten her corset as much as usual. She had never been _regular _either. And now she thought about it, it would explain Lady Mary swatting away Mr Matthew's hand from her stomach earlier that morning when she had come in with her breakfast tray. And she had made a trip to Doctor Clarkson just the other day for some medication that Anna could have collected for her, and usually would.

"That is wonderful news, m'lady. You must be excited."

"I am, we are," Lady Mary corrected herself, although Anna could see a hint of sadness in her eyes. She pinned up one section of her hair and started to arrange the other.

She questioned it.

"Well, after Lady Sybil…"

"Of course," Anna shook her head, feeling foolish. "I should have realised. But surely…"

"It's not likely," Lady Mary replied, her voice a little hoarse with emotion. "But it does make me quite nervous."

"Of course."

"But still, we have quite a while yet."

"When?" Anna smiled.

"Doctor Clarkson thinks around June."

Anna smiled and finished pinning up her hair, framed it with her hands and then asked if that would be all.

"Yes, thank you," Lady Mary replied. She stopped Anna just as she was by the door, "And Anna, thank you."

Anna simply smiled and nodded before closing the door behind her, instantly making her way downstairs.

However, as she made her way down the staircase, Anna stopped. She began to think about it all. Baby Sybil, Lady Mary's child… Anna placed a hand across her stomach and thought about it for a moment or so more. She remembered interacting with Lizzy as a baby and this started to impound her longing again.

She wanted a baby.

But she shook her head after a minute or so, distracted by a door opening upstairs, and continued down to the hall where she sat with the others.

However, whilst everyone there was absorbed in conversation, Anna remained silent, fiddling with a cup of tea Daisy had brought her through and swirling it around aimlessly.

No one really noticed except John, who had been sat across the table ever since Anna had come down. She had smiled and nodded at him, and they had shared a few words but now she was lost in her thoughts. He frowned, watching her closely, knowing something was amiss. He would ask her about it later that night.

* * *

That night, as Anna lay with her naked body pressed against him, he asked her, "You looked troubled today."

He was trailing his fingers up and down her arm in a way that comforted them both.

"It's nothing."

"It didn't look like nothing."

Anna sighed, knowing she would have to tell him. Not that she did not want to tell him, eventually, but it had crossed her mind today that he had not been released for even a year, not even half a year. She was hardly in a position to start fretting. He might not even want to start a family yet.

"Lady Mary's pregnant," Anna began.

"That's brilliant news," John started, although there was a nervous edge to his voice. He did not know where this conversation was going. He added, "Isn't it?"

"Of course," Anna nodded, swallowing. "It just makes me think about when we will have children, if we ever have children."

John smiled slightly, glad that this topic was her source of worry and not anything else. He stroked her arm lovingly before moving it to rest across her stomach, causing her to smile slightly.

"It's not even been a year," John reassured her, and Anna nodded.

"I know, I guess it just hit me. And since we talked about having children…" She paused, and both their minds drifted back to the first time it had come up in their conversations, that night in the servants' hall. "It just makes me realise how much I want it all, now you're finally here with me."

"I want children with you."

Anna smiled tearfully, just as she had that night.

"And there is nothing to stop us trying." John raised his eyebrows suggestively, and Anna let out a laugh, slapping his chest playfully before she willingly caught his lips in a slow, but fierce, kiss.

Later that night, or morning, Anna was resting her head against his chest, listening to his heart beating, letting it sooth her.

"I was thinking," Anna began, her fingers playing with some of the coarse hair on his chest.

"Ominous," John muttered.

He received a light slap for his troubles. He chuckled.

"I was thinking about my leaving service. If I don't do it for a baby, then for Lizzy."

"Are you saying you want to leave?"

"Yes. Maybe. I don't know. Not yet." Anna sighed. "But this arrangement won't work forever. Even with Lizzy at school now, it can't go on forever. I need to be here for her."

"You are," John reassured, unsure as to whether she meant that physically throughout the day or in her life.

"Not like that," Anna replied. "I just mean to be here throughout the day, to look after her like Rose would have done."

"You have the option to leave whenever you want to," John began. "We have savings, we have the rent from the house in London. We can live on my wage alone."

Anna nodded. "I know. I might speak with Mrs Hughes about it."

"Just promise you won't worry about this alone. Talk to me. Let it be me."

Anna turned and smiled at him, treating him to a kiss, "Always you." She kissed him again. "Always."

"So, we take this one day at a time. And we see how you feel."

* * *

On their next half day in the first week of February, Anna was surprised to find that it had moved to a Saturday afternoon. Upon questioning Mrs Hughes when she had mentioned it to Anna during a rare, peaceful cup of tea in her sitting room, the housekeeper had replied that Mr Bates had asked as to the possibilities of the two of them sharing their day together, and on a weekend. Anna scrunched her face up in confusion momentarily before realisation dawned upon her, and her face lit up instead.

"I wonder what he has planned…" Mrs Hughes proposed, smirking a little as she lifted the tea cup to her lips.

"I'm not sure," Anna replied, glad to be here sitting peacefully with the woman she saw as a mother figure. "But rest assured, I will find out."

Mrs Hughes had laughed. "No doubt you will."

And when Anna had brought it to John, he had simply replied that he thought the three of them should spend some time together in Ripon for once. Over the past few weeks, the three had barely had time to themselves, let alone together. John knew that Lizzy needed to spend time with her aunt, and that Anna needed to feel assured that she was in fact there for her niece, considering the doubts she had been having recently. He had also noticed that Anna had been feeling a little out of sorts, but the two of them had both put it down to their working schedules for the past weeks.

"And no arguments," John demanded as the three of them boarded the bus to Ripon. "Today I want to treat you."

"Well, I might have something to say about that," Anna teased him as she pushed her hat a little further down on her head, it having come loose in the wind during their walk through the village.

"Uncle John says you have been moody lately and we need to cheer you up."

"Did he now?"

This time, John struggled to find the teasing nature in her tone. He watched her carefully as she took Lizzy's gloved hand in hers, making an issue of studying her fingers instead of looking up at him. John frowned but dismissed it a few moments later once the bus had jerked into action, starting to move along the roads.

"So what is it you have planned?" Anna asked eventually, looking up at her husband.

John noticed that she looked a little weary, despite the small sparkle in her eyes that seemed to accompany them whenever they took a trip anywhere, or spent time with each other.

"Well, I thought we could stop at a tea shop first. Then, that little antique shop you like? We could pick up a few things for the cottage."

This earned him a beautiful smile from his wife, even though it was still only small.

"Are you feeling better?" John asked, concerned as the bus jumped a little on the road, throwing its passengers around a little.

"Fine," Anna insisted, nodding to prove her point. "I just feel tired. It really has been non-stop recently."

It was true. The family had thrown a large house party towards the end of January, and as lady's maid Anna had been required to assist some of the visiting guests who had not brought their own, although why that was the case Mr Carson had stressed, he did not know. It had meant longer nights for Anna and him, so much so that Lizzy had been required to stay with Mrs Hatchet at her farm for some nights. Anna and John had been trudging through their cottage door past two o'clock on some mornings, and that was when they had not been persuaded by Mrs Hughes to spend the night at the Abbey.

"I know," John sighed. "But things should lighten up soon."

"Does it ever?" Anna replied, trying to sound light-hearted but it came across as anything but.

John smiled at her warmly, and the three kept up conversation until the bus stopped at Ripon.

John kept to his word and took them to a lovely, little tea shop in Ripon. He sat them down in a nice seat by the window before going to the counter himself and ordering them a pot of tea, some juice and also a vast selection of cakes and pastries. He smirked as he walked back across to the table, sitting himself down with the two girls in his life.

"What has you looking so smug?" Anna asked him, raising an eyebrow.

She was answered just a few moments later when a waitress brought their food and drinks across on a tray. Anna stared at it, and then John. She looked at him as if he had grown two heads.

"You might as well have bought the whole shop!" Anna exclaimed, although laughed when he began to fill her plate with a jam tart and a delicious looking pastry.

John simply smiled at his wife, before turning to Lizzy and motioning for her to choose something to eat.

They did eat them all, surprisingly. And after John had gone back to pay the bill, the three of them went to the antique shop as he had also promised. Anna delighted in looking around and even chose a few things for the cottage, an ornament and also a set of candles. John also bought her a set of her favourite bath salts, to which Anna tried to stop him and was fixed with a stern, but amused, glance.

"There was no need for that," Anna smiled at her husband, taking his arm as Lizzy walked ahead of them.

"There was every need," John countered. "It helps you relax."

Anna was about to open her mouth and argue back once more before she remembered their conversation earlier and found that she would probably be contradicting herself.

"Fine," Anna admitted defeat. "But we go to your little bookshop now."

"It isn't _my _little bookshop."

Anna dug her elbow into his ribs playfully, causing him to chuckle. "You know what I mean. I always thought you could run one in another life."

"I don't want to think of another life," he began. "Especially if I wouldn't meet you."

Anna turned her head and raised an eyebrow at her husband. _Sentimental fool._

But Anna ensured that the three of them went to the bookshop, and they enjoyed spending a good hour or so in there while John scoured the shelves for something new. Whilst her husband looked at the poetry section Anna scoured the shelves for some new novels – it had been quite a while since she had read a good, new book. The old bookkeeper came along and showed her some of their new collections, she noticed a new _Anne of Green Gables _book in the series but ultimately decided to leave it for this time.

Just as she was about to go and search out John, a Baum novel _Glinda of Oz _caught her eye, and she decided to buy it for Lizzy. She and John had bought her the previous two as a Christmas present since she had collected the others and read them with Rose before. Anna did not recognise this title and therefore took the copy from the shelf to go and purchase.

As she passed another section, a new Lawrence novel also caught her eye. Anna recognised the title and remembered John telling her that it was a little risqué and had caused quite a bit of controversy. How this old bookkeeper had this on his shelf she did not know, when she had asked after a copy of _The Rainbow _during John's imprisonment, the two having spoken about it during a visit and she had decided to buy it for him, the old man had been aghast, had turned blush red and had stammered that she would never find anything by that man in his shop.

Anna giggled, taking the book from the shelf again and adding it to the other.

She would surprise John later with this.

Turning the corner, intent on finding her husband and niece, she was not prepared for the sight that met her eyes – a sight that she had slowly become used to seeing since Lizzy had moved in with them, and one that she hoped she would never become too used to.

John and Lizzy were huddled over one book, both of them deep in apparent conversation. John had one arm around her shoulders, the other holding onto the book with his cane hanging on one of the shelf edges.

Anna was suddenly struck with the image, once more, of John with their own children. Maybe they would bring their own son or daughter here one day, a daughter with her looks and John's quiet and gentle nature and a son who looked like his father and was a mix between the two of them. Both would enjoy listening to their father read to them, and would love choosing their books from here even more.

Anna sighed softly, shaking herself free of those thoughts as she carefully hid the books behind her back as she walked past them and to the bookkeeper's little desk and till.

She would surprise them both later, she thought with a soft smile.

* * *

The only issue with having their half day was having to go back to Downton afterwards.

Luckily, however, both of their masters and mistresses respectively had decided to take an early night, presumably as a result of the tiring house party that had worn the staff out just as much. Consequently, John and Anna were walking home with Lizzy just after ten. Usually Anna would have taken Lizzy home by now, but since it was Saturday and they would be finishing earlier, she had relented.

Once back at the cottage, Anna had presented Lizzy with her new book. The girl had squealed excitedly and embraced her aunt enthusiastically, thanking her over and over again before asking if John would read it to her. Lizzy loved the books, so much so that she had already finished the two others she had received for Christmas. Anna had lost count of the nights she had found Lizzy straining her eyes in the moonlight, having opened her curtains just to catch a few more glimpses of the pages. And she still suspected that John had found her a couple of times, even though he insisted he hadn't.

_He probably read it with her_, Anna thought with a smirk as she watched them both, sat together on the settee.

Lizzy had crawled into his lap, her head resting against his shoulder as she followed his reading on the page. Anna felt her heart warm with pride. She really was doing well.

Anna placed their tea down on the little table, along with some warm milk for Lizzy, and then settled down beside them. She loved being a part of their scenes together, relishing in the times with her family. Times that she had thought might never be possible during some of the bleakest moments of John's imprisonment.

John turned another page, the clock on the mantelpiece chiming eleven o'clock.

Anna peered her head around John to look at Lizzy and saw that her eyes were closed, her breathing even.

She nudged John who stopped reading. She nodded her head to Lizzy and he nodded, understanding.

"Bed I think," Anna sighed loudly, enough to wake Lizzy up suddenly. Anna smirked as she watched, aware of the inevitable…

"Just another page!"

John chuckled. "It's late, come on."

"But…"

"It's eleven o'clock!" Anna exclaimed. "You'll never be up tomorrow!"

Lizzy huffed and sighed, but relented as Anna held out her hand for Lizzy to take. She took her hand and made her way upstairs with her aunt, slipping into her night clothes and then into bed without so much as a word. Her eyes were closed again as soon as her head hit the pillow.

Anna smiled as she looked at her niece, pulling the duvet covers up before bending down to place a kiss on her forehead. She murmured a quiet "sweet dreams" before leaving the room and shutting the door behind her.

John was just coming up the stairs as she entered the bedroom. He had promptly washed their pots and put out the lamps and he gave Anna a warm smile as he came into their room.

"Asleep?"

"As soon as she hit the pillow."

John chuckled.

"It was a lovely idea to get her the book."

Anna smiled as she started to remove her dress and corset, "Well, I saw it and couldn't resist."

"It's just a shame she has them all now," John answered. "Otherwise birthdays and Christmas would be a lot easier to buy for."

"Quite," Anna laughed in response as she sat down at her table, looking at her husband through the mirror as he began to peel out of his waistcoat and shirt, having removed his tie and collar as soon as he had returned home.

Anna continued to watch him as he changed into his pyjamas, and felt her breath hit when he began to run his fingers through his hair, removing all traces of the pomade.

"I may have a surprise for you too."

Anna watched and had to stifle her laughter when she saw her husband turning to look at her, his brow furrowed.

"And what would that be?"

Anna was vaguely aware of him walking towards her, only his bottom half covered as she pulled her nightgown over her head. She swore her breathing had stopped when his lips dipped to meet the side of her neck, teasing her there.

"You might have to wait," Anna teased him, her hand on his head as she kept him in place by her neck. Her eyes closed and her neck titled sideways to grant him further access.

Anna felt his lips twitch into a smile against her neck, and soon his lips were by her ear, "Really?"

She almost moaned when he removed his lips completely, but sighed once more when she felt his fingers begin to remove the pins from her hair. Anna knew her husband loved to do this when he had the opportunity.

He handed her the pins as he removed each one.

"And what might I expect from this surprise?"

"Now, Mr Bates, I see patience is not your forte."

He grinned, "Not now. Not when it comes to you." She watched in the mirror as his lips teased her neck once more, his fingers still somehow pulling the pins from her hair. She felt her hair fall rather than saw it. She then felt him pull away.

"Go on," Anna smiled, turning around. "Get into bed, and I will show you."

John raised an eyebrow.

"And you can wipe that look off your face, it's not like that."

John chuckled before walking across to their bed. He watched as Anna brought a package out from a pile in the corner where she had previously placed her clothes, and smiled as she walked across to the bed and placed it on his lap above the duvet cover as she slid underneath them beside him.

"When did you buy this?" He asked. "I don't remember."

"You were with Lizzy," Anna smiled, eager for him to open it.

He did, and she watched him eagerly.

"_Women in Love_?" John asked her, raising an eyebrow. It was clear that the two of them were thinking the same thing. "You bought this?" He imagined Anna buying this from the old bookkeeper.

"I did feel a little risqué," Anna laughed.

John laughed too, before closing the distance between them and kissing her softly. "Thank you, my darling. I can't wait to start it."

Anna ran her fingers across his shoulders before moving to his chest. "I was hoping we might read it together."

"That we will," John smirked, kissing her again as their embrace became heated.

But as he was about to deepen their kiss even more, he pulled away, grimacing slightly.

Anna looked up at him, her brow furrowed in concern. She soon realised the problem and promptly sought to reassure him. "How is it?"

John pulled away from her, turning in embarrassment as his hand went to his knee, "Much the same." John sighed. "The winter is the worst, but it should ease up a little come spring."

Anna knew that these last few weeks had taken their toll on John more than anyone, and especially his knee.

She nodded and murmured. But before she could reassure him, he turned the conversation back to her.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better," Anna smiled. "Today was lovely. Thank you."

John smiled. "As long as you are."

Anna sighed, "I _am_. Now, will you let me look at your knee?"

Even now, John sighed at the suggestion.

"Anna…"

"_John_."

John looked up at his wife and recognised _that _look. He sighed and nodded, pulling away the covers as Anna reached over and brought a tub of cream from his bedside drawer that Doctor Clarkson had given him. It would help, especially over the winter, to ease some of the strain in his knee, even if only for a short while.

As he rolled up his trouser leg, Anna scooped some of the cream onto her fingers and then began to apply it to his right knee.

"You know you should stop berating yourself," Anna began, looking at him as she waited for a response. She continued to massage the cream into his knee, watching as his head rested back on the pillow, his eyes closed. "You do yourself no favours either."

Anna watched as John smiled knowingly and then opened his eyes. He watched her carefully. She knew, secretly, that he loved her fussing over him. It was one of those things that she was now allowed to do, as his wife, and both of them revelled in it.

"I know," he sighed.

Anna rolled her eyes as he closed his eyes again, his head lulling back onto the pillow. She finished massaging the cream into his knee and wiped her hands on a nearby cloth before putting the pot back onto one of their bedside tables.

John had rolled his trouser leg back down by the time she had turned around and had pulled the covers back up over his chest.

Anna smiled at him warmly, and was about to open her mouth to speak when she released a loud yawn.

"You're tired."

Anna murmured, wanting to argue but finding it difficult as she stifled another yawn.

"Come here," John opened his arms for her, and Anna instantly went to him, resting her head upon his chest. "Make the most of the early night."

Anna murmured and nodded, closing her eyes.

"We might be up earlier tomorrow." John suggested wryly.

Anna murmured once again.

"Are you trying to sleep?"

Anna murmured again.

"Do you want me to be quiet?"

Anna murmured again.

John chuckled and pressed a soft kiss to the top of her head, letting her fall asleep as he soon followed.


	8. Chapter 7

**A/N: **Once again, huge thanks to everyone who has read this, put it on their alerts or reviewed, I appreciate every, single one and also thank you to **testship**. To the **Guest** reviewer who mentioned a scenario between John and Lizzy where his knee troubles him, thank you for the suggestion, I had wanted to write something along those lines I just lacked ideas, and I hope the scene I wrote in this chapter works well. As a little note, since this story is AU from 3.7 Matthew is still alive.

* * *

**The Long and Winding Road**

**Chapter Seven**

Anna looked down at the flailing baby in her arms, laughing at him as he shook his fist for her to catch gently in her hand. She obliged and smiled down at him warmly as she began to rock him gently in her arms, taking in all of the features that were still so new to everyone.

She turned her head briefly and looked across at Lady Mary who was applying a little blush to her own cheeks and moisturising her hands. Anna turned back and smiled at the baby in her arms. Master George was a lively, healthy baby even for just over one month old. He had been born at the end of May, taking his mother, father and the whole household by surprise by arriving a few weeks earlier than he was due. But Doctor Clarkson had assured them that he would be perfectly fine, and he was certainly proving that now. The baby provided Anna with a gummy smile, making adorable noises as he attempted to reach up and grab her face with his tiny fist.

"He is beautiful, m'lady." Anna cooed as she watched his eyes light up, continuing to rock him gently.

"He certainly takes after Mr Matthew."

Anna raised an eyebrow and turned around sceptically to her lady, but Lady Mary admonished it with a simple smirk after she stood from her dressing table and approached Anna and her son. Anna carefully shifted George into the arms of his mother, soothing him as he let a small, disgruntled noise at the movement. Lady Mary took George gracefully into her arms, and Anna smiled at the thought that she had taken to motherhood so well.

Just as she had passed George back to his mother, the door opened and Matthew entered.

"Hello," Matthew greeted them all, although Anna watched as he sent his wife a knowing look. She smiled at the two of them, and it widened even further as she noticed that George had become particularly restless at the sound of his father, he having recognised his voice.

Anna watched as Matthew continued to interact with his wife and child.

"And how is the little chap?" Matthew asked, bending slightly to pass his hand across George's cheek gently.

Anna smiled as she watched father and son interact together, but jumped as Matthew suddenly turned and smiled at her warmly.

"It can't be long for you either, Anna." Anna smiled gleefully in recognition. Her hands instinctively went to her six-month-old bump, very visible now even in her loose-fitting dress. "Is Bates excited?"

"We both are, Sir." Anna grinned.

As Matthew went back to looking adoringly at his son, Anna's mind drifted to the baby.

The baby was due in September. This was the reason she had agreed to remain with Lady Mary until the end of the summer, instead of earlier as she would have had it not been for her discovering she was with child. She had wanted to be at the cottage to tend to Lizzy more, and this news had made it the perfect timing. Anna cast her mind back to the moment she had told John she was carrying his child. She still remembered that day in February – Valentine's Day. It had been quite the –

"Anna…"

Anna turned her head and looked at Lady Mary, who was watching her with a smirk. Suddenly dazed, Anna shook her head. "Will that be all, m'lady?"

Lady Mary smiled. "Yes, thank you, Anna."

Anna nodded and swiftly left the bedroom, leaving the little family to themselves.

* * *

As Anna made her way downstairs, down the servant staircase, her thoughts drifted back once more to the time she had told John about their child. She had been feeling out of sorts for a few weeks, so upon the insistence of Mrs Hughes and her husband she had visited Doctor Clarkson, and he had been the one to deliver her the joyous news. It had been quite the Valentine's Day present for John.

She remembered now, revealing the news as the two had buried themselves beneath the sheets that night.

"_You know I have been a bit short-tempered recently." Anna started by way of apology, although after their excursions just moments ago her husband would insist there was no need to be. Her fingers played with the coarse, dark hairs on his chest as they lay together, their breathing slowly going back to normal. _

"_A bit?" _

_Anna would have laughed with him had it not been for the situation. She closed her eyes as she relished in the feel of John trailing his fingers up and down her naked back, and placed an absent minded kiss upon his chest. _

"_Well, I went to Doctor Clarkson, and he told me why." _

"_There's a condition for it now?"_

"John!_" Anna snapped, tired of his quips. "Will you listen?"_

_Anna looked up and watched as he nodded solemnly. _

_But despite her solemn expression, she could not keep that at bay for long. Her lips turned into a small smile, which slowly started to grow as she took in his increasingly confused expression. _

"_Anna, what is it?" _

"_I'm pregnant." _

Anna still remembered his face. She remembered how the confused expression suddenly turned to shock for just the briefest moment, and then his face broke into a grin, the kind that reached his eyes and caused the skin around them to crease. Anna would never forget that look. Not for as long as she lived.

Anna reached the hall and sat down in her usual spot. It was almost empty, save for a hall boy and maid who were whispering to themselves and laughing occasionally. Anna picked up some of her mending and began to focus on that.

John and she were beyond excited at the prospect of parenthood. Anna was glad that little time had passed since she expressed to John her wishes to have a child that she fell pregnant. She remembered the brief anxiety that had passed through her when she believed children might never have been a gift for them. It had been silly, now that she thought about it, because John had barely been out of prison for six months. But even she could not describe the emotions she had felt upon discovering their pregnancy. Motherhood was an exciting prospect, even if she was anxious at times. But she had seen the same emotions in Lady Mary, so Anna was not apprehensive.

Anna smiled to herself as she continued the mending, some of her more light tasks that Mrs Hughes had insisted she take to. Anna would also begin to take earlier evenings starting next week. Mrs Hughes had insisted either she or one of the candidates for the new role could tend to Lady Mary, and Lady Mary had agreed to it too. There were a few candidates for her position since she would be leaving service, and this had proven the best opportunity for them to _"be thrown into the action"_ as Lady Mary had termed it. She knew John had something to do with that as well.

When she thought about John, she smiled even more. She thought about the past months and how her husband had grown close to Lizzy, and had proved himself a father figure of sorts already, even before their child was born. It made soothing his anxiety about fatherhood ever the more simple. Lizzy was excited about the new baby too, looking forward to the prospect of being a cousin, although Anna and John both knew that Lizzy would come to be more of an older sister to their child. She was flourishing in her studies at school, her teacher Miss Bunting was keen to praise her every time she came across John or Anna in the village, or when Anna would collect Lizzy from school on her afternoon off. Anna could not have been more proud, and neither could John.

When John read to Lizzy at night now, he would insist that she read the occasional word. He had a way of surprising her every so often, asking her to read various words or sentences that she would not expect. Some of them were easy; some of them were a struggle. But John always coached her through the harder words or phrases, and soon Lizzy was becoming all the more confident.

It had also been John's idea to plant a tree in their garden come spring, by ways of commemorating Rose. As the months passed, Lizzy had asked to go and see the grave in Claxton on numerous occasions, and neither John nor Anna would be able to refuse her. But these trips were often difficult and would often have to be taken when all of them had the time off, which was a rarity.

When John had approached her with the idea, her heart had skipped a beat. It was such a beautiful idea, and fitting because Lizzy still spent so much time in the garden, especially after John had enquired about installing a swing. He knew her father had once built her one, and he had no wish to step on his toes as such, or even evoke painful memories. But Lizzy had been eager once hearing the plan, and John had started to prepare for the task on the first afternoon off he could get. It was done quickly, and soon Lizzy spent even more time in the garden. The three of them had spent one afternoon together and planted the tree in a sombre mood, considering its meaning. But husband and wife knew it had helped Lizzy immensely.

Anna had been given a Saturday afternoon off not long after their tree had been planted, and she had taken Lizzy into the village. The two of them had talked about the tree, and the decision had been made to plant some flowers around the base of it. Anna had enquired to Mr Molesley the elder about which flowers would be best to plant and, with some input from Lizzy too, they had planted a few different types of flowers, including some favourites of Rose's.

Anna was pulled from her thoughts as the baby kicked rather powerfully. She let out a surprised yelp, garnering the attention of the hall boy and maid, and also Jimmy and Thomas who had come into the hall.

She smiled at them softly, assuring them that she was perfectly fine, and then continued with her mending.

But she could not hide the smile that adorned her lips for the coming moments, and her hands moved from her mending to cradle her stomach as the baby continued to wriggle inside her. Anna still could not fail to be amazed every time she felt the proof of their love. Especially considering the times she thought she might never experience moments like these with her husband.

Anna let out a contented sigh and moved back to fix Lady Mary's blouse, the smile never leaving her lips.

* * *

Anna sat in the boot room, her mind a little absent as she brushed furiously at a pair of Lady Mary's heels. She contemplated heatedly how this mud could have slipped her mind, and how it had gotten there in the first place, she was always so meticulous with her cleaning. Anna would always clean the shoes first thing, otherwise leaving it would only make the task harder. And since she had discovered about the baby, she became tired all the more quickly, and even these small tasks often required double the usual motivation.

"I thought I'd come and find you." Anna looked up to see her husband at the door, leaning heavily on his cane as he offered her a casual, warm smile. He began to approach her at the table, sitting himself beside her on one of the stools. "How are you?"

Anna rolled her eyes. This was a common subject of questioning when it came to her husband now. Although she could hardly blame him for being protective of her and the baby… of _their _baby.

"Much as I was this morning, and will be later tonight." She responded cheekily.

Anna watched as John shook his head. "I _am _allowed to worry about you."

Anna raised an eyebrow.

"As your husband it's my divine right."

Anna looked at him sceptically, but eventually gave in and smiled. She turned and brought the shoes back towards her that she had been cleaning, although she was subconsciously edging closer to her husband. After a few moments of peaceful and comfortable silence, Anna began to ask him, "Did you ask His Lordship about September?"

Since the birth of their child, who was due in September, was likely to coincide with the family and their annual trip to Duneagle, understandably Anna wanted to ensure John was there with her. Although he would not be allowed in the room with her during the birth, as society would dictate, she wanted him to be close by, and not hundreds of miles away up in the Scottish Highlands.

"I did," John sighed, stretching his leg out in front of him beneath the table. Anna turned her head to watch his expression, noting that his knee was troubling him once again. She would most definitely take this up with him later that night. But he had continued before she had the chance to dwell on the matter for much longer. "The family will still be heading to Duneagle. But he did say that he would ask Thomas about filling my place during that time."

"I should hardly think he would have too many complaints."

It was true. Scotland was very different to Yorkshire, and surely Thomas would find something to interest him up there. He had also been considerately understanding towards Anna since the two of them had revealed their joyous news. He still carried that pompous air that Anna had never been able to decide whether to pity or deride – he had shown his more vulnerable side to her on occasions – but he had, once or twice, offered to help John with some of His Lordship's more trying tasks when he had wanted to accompany Anna into the village for an appointment with Doctor Clarkson.

"Well, even if he does," John reached over and placed his hand across her extended stomach, stroking it softly as smiles erupted on both of their faces. These smiles widened even more as the two of them felt another sign of life, a sign of their child. "One thing is for certain, I will not be leaving you."

Anna smiled gladly and reached across to kiss him softly and chastely. She loved it whenever he interacted with the child growing inside her stomach, whether that was kissing her soft swell or talking to their child at night.

They were interrupted, however, by a rather embarrassed cough from the doorway.

Pulling apart, both of them felt their hearts stop as Mr Carson stood there, looking slightly awkward as he tried and failed not to look from one of them to the other.

He coughed once more to clear his throat.

"Anna, I'm glad to have found you."

Anna swallowed. She knew John would be fidgeting beside her. The two of them had always tried to remain professional at work, and to be caught out by their commander and chief made them both uncomfortable.

"Mrs Hughes would like a word with you. She is in her sitting room."

With that, the butler nodded at them both and left, and both guessed that he was glad to.

Both of them sat and turned to each other, sharing shy smiles before Anna got to her feet, running her hand along his shoulder as she passed him. Before she left the boot room, she turned and looked over her shoulder, flashing him a smile.

John smirked and watched as she went.

* * *

That night, Anna did inquire to John about his knee. Often he would simply admonish her claims that she should look at it for him and manage to avoid it, but tonight Anna had fixed him with a firm stare and he had surrendered. Being unable to use his cane in prison, his knee had worsened. And it didn't look like it was getting any better, even as the weather was getting warmer.

"At least let me apply some cream to it," Anna suggested.

"Not that it makes it any better," John muttered under his breath, although Anna caught him. She frowned. But he still allowed her to roll up his pyjama leg.

"If it helps for a little while."

"But it doesn't, not really." John raised his voice, although immediately regretted it as he noticed her face fall. John sighed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to…"

He was interrupted as a knock was heard at their door. It could only be one person. Anna called to her softly.

Lizzy opened the door and shuffled in, her eyes a little red as she wiped at them with her hands.

"What is it, sweetheart?" Anna asked softly, concerned.

"I had a nightmare."

Both of their hearts sank at the admission. Whilst the two of them knew that the nightmares might never go completely, after the months where she had hardly suffered from any, they had hoped she would not be burdened with them as much.

"Come up here with us," John suggested before Anna could even open her mouth to say another word.

"How about I go and make us all a drink?" Anna suggested and left before John could argue that he should do it.

Lizzy instantly nodded and obliged to his suggestion, but as Anna left the bedroom Lizzy noticed as John started to pull his pyjama leg down hurriedly. "Is that your bad knee, Uncle John?"

She clambered up onto the bed beside him, instantly bringing the covers up over her, making herself comfortable.

John sighed as he stopped rolling down the fabric, clearly it having been seen. "It is."

"How did you get it?"

John turned to the little, curious girl intent on changing the subject. But when he saw her innocent, curious eyes that wanted nothing more than to learn more about the world around her, he did not have the heart to refuse.

"I got it during a war."

"The war my dad was in?" John could see that Lizzy was confused. He remembered telling her once that he had not fought in that war when she had asked. Now that he thought about it, it was strange that Lizzy had not asked him about his knee yet. He assumed Anna had mentioned something to her. But now it was getting harder to cope with after long, hard days he supposed it would be harder to overlook.

"No, a different war. A war in Africa."

"Africa?" Lizzy gasped.

John had to smile at her new expression, one mixed with amazement, curiosity but slight fear too. He nodded.

"Did you see lions?"

"Some," John laughed.

"Did they hurt your knee?"

John shifted a little. "Um, no. It was a bullet, well, or a shard of one…" John could see that Lizzy was a little bit confused, but he did not really want to elaborate. If Anna knew he was telling her these kinds of stories at this time of night, even if Lizzy had asked for them, well he would hardly be in her good books.

"He got that saving Lord Grantham's life."

Anna, unbeknown to John, had been stood in the doorway and had heard at least some of their conversation. As she walked into the bedroom with their tray of drinks, he rolled his eyes at her. Lizzy gasped.

"Really?"

Lizzy turned to John, and after one look over at Anna he nodded his head.

"So is that why you have a walking stick?" Lizzy asked innocently as Anna passed her the drink, settling under the duvet covers beside them both, Lizzy in the middle.

"It is," John murmured, sipping his own drink.

"We just have to make sure we don't let it worsen," Anna spoke over Lizzy in a low whisper, a concerned look across her face. Lizzy had settled down, passing her mug to Anna and resting her head against John's shoulder.

John smiled at Anna and nodded, hoping it would reassure her. Although, the truth was, even he was not reassured.

A few minutes had passed before anyone said anything else, and Anna and John thought Lizzy was asleep when her small voice, in a barely audible whisper, spoke up,

"I think you're very brave, Uncle John."

Anna looked across at John, with a few tears in her eyes – she would blame them on the pregnancy hormones – and John was having a hard time reigning in his. He felt his heart swell at the compliment from the little girl he was starting to see as a daughter figure. He leaned across and kissed her head as she snuggled back against their pillows, settled between them.

Lizzy murmured, and mumbled, "Can I stay here tonight?"

John looked across at Anna and spoke simultaneously, "Of course you can."

Anna gave John a watery smile before settling herself down beneath the duvet covers, letting her arm drape across Lizzy as she too succumbed to sleep.

John remained awake longer than the others, and he watched them both, so at peace and looking so serene. His eyes travelled from Anna to Lizzy, and then back to Anna. Lizzy blocked all view he had of her bump, but in the knowledge that it was there, he smiled.

This was his family now. The family he once thought he might never have. And John knew he would move the Earth for either of them, for all three of them.

* * *

Following June came a stiflingly hot July.

The family had organised a garden party, one because of the glorious weather and two to celebrate the birth of George properly. There had been a christening, of course, but the hot weather had incited the Crawley family to invite some of their closest friends.

But of course, whilst it was glorious to be out in the sun for the family, for the working servants it was a painful and tremendously tiring task.

All of the servants were involved with trying to make the party a success. Mrs Patmore was bellowing instructions from within an unbearably hot kitchen, and the footmen had an equally tiring job carrying endless trays of food up to the front lawn.

Anna was preparing some refreshing tea on the lawn under a rather large marquee. Sighing loudly and breathing out shakily, she raised a hand to her forehead, aimlessly trying to wipe away some of the perspiration that was appearing there. Mr Molesley was beside her, preparing himself to pick up the tray Anna was carefully arranging and take it to some of their guests. Anna picked up another tea cup to place onto the tray when her hand started to shake. She took another shaky breath. She felt herself swaying gently and she gripped the table to steady herself.

"Anna…"

Moseley, who had been watching her subtly, felt almost conflicted as he grabbed hold of her, keeping her upright as she fell slightly against him.

"Anna…" Moseley spoke to her warily, keeping a firm grip on her shoulders.

"I'm fi…"

Anna tried to reason with Moseley, but it was of no use. He knew she was not fine. None of them were fine in this weather, but Anna especially. The thickness of her black dress made the heat unbearable.

"Mrs Hughes!" Moseley called to the housekeeper subtly, who was some distance away.

Mrs Hughes heard him, and her eyes widened slightly upon seeing their position before steely determination set in her eyes as she walked swiftly across to the both of them.

"Anna?" Mrs Hughes asked her, taking her hand and checking her pulse. It was fast. "Anna, let's get you inside."

Mrs Hughes supported Anna on one side, "Mr Molesley, could you help me take her downstairs?"

Molesley nodded.

"We can take her to my sitting room. It's quite cool in there."

Anna mumbled, "I'm fine. Just a bit hot. And tired."

"Now I'll have none of that."

Once Mrs Hughes and Molesley had taken Anna downstairs and into the little sitting room and placed her on a small settee that had been a new installment for Mrs Hughes a couple of months ago, the housekeeper knelt down beside Anna and felt her forehead. She was still quite warm. Mrs Hughes was sure it was nothing but heat stroke, but in her condition she did not want to _just assume _anything. She turned to Molesley.

"Mr Molesley, please would you fetch Mr Bates and Doctor Clarkson as soon as you can."

"Very good, Mrs Hughes." Molesley responded, a little bit flushed and almost glad to be out of the room.

"There's no need, really." Anna tried to argue.

Mrs Hughes fixed her with a stare. "Now I told you, there will be none of that."

"He will only fret." Anna sighed, closing her eyes as Mrs Hughes applied a cool rag to her forehead.

"And with good reason," Mrs Hughes screeched in response. The housekeeper continued to apply the rag tenderly and in a motherly fashion for several minutes, occasionally feeling Anna's forehead or taking her pulse. Her heart rate was slowing back to normal. Maybe she was just doing too much. _She was seven months pregnant after all! _Mrs Hughes sighed. "I will not have you overworking yourself."

"Honestly Mrs Hughes, I –"

Anna was prevented from speaking any further as the door swung open suddenly, her husband appearing at the door, looking flushed and somewhat pained. Anna noticed his knee instantly. It was still bothering him.

He must have been coming back to the garden party when Mr Molesley had found him. John had gone into the village to fetch Lizzy from school and to bring her back for a little while before Anna would take her home a little later. Anna had been planning, and had offered, to go and get Lizzy herself, but John had outright refused and insisted he go. His Lordship had been dressed already, and there was little he could do at a garden party beyond standing there.

"What happened?"

For the first time, as John walked into the room and worried over her, Anna noticed Lizzy had been stood behind him, leaning against the door. Anna reassured her with a smile. Before Anna could answer her husband, Mrs Hughes did.

"She just had a bit of a turn."

"A bit?" John asked incredulously.

"It was too hot, that's all," Anna reassured him, squeezing his hand as it wrapped around hers.

"You shouldn't be overworking yourself." John spoke to her lowly, although Mrs Hughes heard.

_"That's what I told her."_

_"I'm fine."_

Mrs Hughes and Anna replied simultaneously.

They both looked at each other, and Bates looked across at Mrs Hughes.

Anna noticed as John grimaced. He was kneeling slightly on the floor so as to be beside her. She shook her head. However, with Mrs Hughes present in the room and Lizzy by the door, she knew her husband would appreciate it more if she chose to say nothing. Instead, she fixed him with a knowing stare, and when John had seen it he shuffled uncomfortably and attempted to straighten his leg. Mrs Hughes seemed to notice their silent exchange, and innocently offered Mr Bates a chair. He took it with an appreciative smile, still holding onto her hand as he settled back in it.

John leant across and swiped his hand across her forehead.

"You're warm."

"Better than before," Anna responded.

John smiled, albeit worriedly. He then turned to the doorway where Lizzy was still stood and beckoned her to come inside.

Anna noticed her wariness. She spoke softly, "It's fine, honestly." She smiled too. Anna held out her other hand as Lizzy approached the settee, taking the smaller hand in her own as the girl settled herself in the space remaining beside her aunt. Mrs Hughes silently left the room, leaving them to it and waiting for Doctor Clarkson.

Anna smiled at her niece, noticing that she looked increasingly worried. She removed her hand and swept away some of the stray, dark hair that had fallen across her face.

"Honestly, there's nothing to worry about."

Lizzy did not seem entirely convinced.

"I just got a bit hot. I was working too hard." Anna smiled softly at her niece, tucking the loose strand behind her ear before whispering, "You know your Uncle John always says I work too hard."

Anna could see that John was wearing a proud smirk out of the corner of her eye, and she gently squeezed his hand in her own response.

Doctor Clarkson was no more than ten minutes. He came into the sitting room and asked if Mr Bates would leave him alone with Anna and Mrs Hughes, so he could examine her properly. Although conflicted, John understood and went, taking Lizzy into the hall for a glass of juice and some biscuits that Mrs Patmore had offered. Doctor Clarkson then proceeded to examine Anna as best he could. He came to the conclusion that it must have been a combination of everything: stress, fatigue, heat and overwork.

"It can only be expected," Doctor Clarkson surmised after he had invited Mr Bates back into the sitting room. "But you must start to take things easier. You'll do yourself no favours if you carry on like this."

Although Doctor Clarkson meant to be helpful, Anna could not help but flush a little in embarrassment and look away. The man seemed to notice this, and was quick to reassure her.

"But the baby seems perfectly healthy," Doctor Clarkson smiled, turning from Anna to Mr Bates and smiling reassuringly. "You certainly have nothing to worry about. And you can still feel the baby?"

Anna nodded.

Doctor Clarkson nodded too. His smile seemed to explain everything. He then bid the two of them, and Mrs Hughes, farewell and left the sitting room. Mrs Hughes followed him out, leaving Anna and Bates alone.

Anna sat up and got herself comfortable whilst John came to sit beside her. His hand instantly reached across and stroked the swell of her stomach through her dress. "You both had me worried," he began, half talking to Anna and half talking to their unborn child.

"You have nothing to worry about."

She reached across and kissed him softly, taking advantage of their time alone.


	9. Chapter 8

**A/N: **I'll say a brief (but very appreciated) thank you here for all of the response once again. There's a longer A/N at the bottom. I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as the others. Very near the end now.

**Guest **– thank you so much for reviewing again, I'm glad you liked the scene I wrote and thought that the bravery line was fitting. I was umm-ing and arg-ing at that line and whether to try and change it, so thank you, and I'm glad you think it's not too cheesy. That's the thing I struggle with most with in these chapters. I hope you continue to enjoy the rest of the story.

* * *

**The Long and Winding Road**

**Chapter Eight**

It was September now, and John had been granted the few weeks off whilst the family headed for their annual trip to Duneagle. Lord Grantham had been very accommodating to the plan, insisting that he take as much time as he needed – after all, he would have hated to have missed the birth of his daughters, even though he had been forced to leave and serve his duty in Africa not long after Sybil's first birthday and John knew from their days together that it had struck Robert hard.* Of course, a lot of the upper-class rarely saw their children at that age – John knew, or sensed, it had been the case with the Dowager Countess and Lord Grantham – but Robert had seemed different. Mr Carson was also very accommodating to the idea of John remaining at Downton throughout the trip, and a lot of the time he would insist that Mr Bates stay at the cottage (although both he and Anna assumed that was a lot down to Mrs Hughes and her ways with the old butler). He had been given various tasks to do whilst he was at the cottage, mostly mending and sorting through a lot of Lord Grantham's old clothes, and he would take a daily trip up to the house to bring them back to send away, as well as to report on Anna.

Anna had left service not even two weeks after the incident at the garden party in July. It had taken little to reason with her, and after Doctor Clarkson had encouraged her to begin taking things easier, she had accepted it. John had never been more pleased. Mrs Hughes certainly had no arguments against the idea, and she would still often come over to the cottage whenever she could spare a few moments, just in order to see for herself that Anna was coping fine and that she had no fears about the baby. Anna and John both suspected – or more or less knew – that Anna was some kind of daughter figure for Mrs Hughes, and should her own mother have still been alive, this would have been her role right now. Mrs Hughes never came to their cottage empty handed, often with a large basket of food that Mrs Patmore had rustled up for them, reasoning that Anna should not be on her feet cooking right now. John had argued light-heartedly – since at this time he had been home, His Lordship in Duneagle – that he could cook well enough, but Mrs Hughes had just shared a look with Anna before waving her hand away at him.

Needless to say, neither of them complained as they ate the delicious pie that night. Mrs Patmore seemed to have averted her full attention to the servants dinner now that most of the family, excluding Mr Branson and Miss Sybbie, were away because the meals Anna and John had started to receive (now when John returned home after making his daily trip up to the house to enquire about any work that needed doing, only to be shooed back just as quickly with a bundle of food) were quite the opposite to the stew that they had been used to before.

Lady Mary had not minded in the slightest either that Anna would leave her earlier than first arranged. Of course, she was sad to see her leave, the two having formed a close friendship – a close bond – over their years together, Anna becoming very much Lady Mary's confidant. But Lady Mary had a replacement already lined up, so in the end there was little fuss, except for her to make Anna promise to come and visit once the baby was born, and explaining that she might drop by after the family had settled back in after their trip, just to see how she was faring and whether the baby had been born.

Mrs Hughes was to be present with Anna during the birth. In the absence of her mother, Mrs Hughes had been her first instinct to ask for. Of course, the housekeeper had scolded Anna, saying that she would have been there whether Anna had asked or not. Anna could only laugh lightly as she stood in the housekeeper's little sitting room, a room she had spent many an hour in over the course of her life as a maid.

And now that life was over.

Anna stood in the doorway of the little converted nursery in their home, leaning against its frame as she watched John placing the last touches to the paint on the walls. Lizzy was there helping him too, it being a Saturday, and she laughed every so often as John would splash her with some of the pale, yellow paint that had been found in one of the store cupboards at Downton and given to them just the other week. The baby would be sleeping in their bedroom to start with, but when their child would grow older, it had been decided that they would share bedrooms with Lizzy. The little girl had not minded in the slightest, and since it was the only other available bedroom in the cottage, there was little choice in the matter anyhow.

Lizzy had exclaimed excitedly as to whether the three of them could paint the bedroom a new colour. The room was still the dingy grey that had been presented to them, although Lizzy had her possessions which certainly brought light and life to the room. Her growing pile of books in the corner would soon need a proper book shelf, and John had promised her that during his time off he would build her one.

Anna had not been allowed to paint, John fussing too much over her ability to work. She would probably never admit it, but she did enjoy being able to relax extensively for the first time in her life, lounging around until goodness knows when and for how long for. Her feet were beginning to ache even more, and her ankles had swelled because of the added weight.

Anna sighed now as she shifted on her feet, attempting to free herself of the pain.

John heard her then, and turned around.

"Should you be up here?" John frowned.

Anna rolled her eyes and stressed, "I can manage. I wanted to come up and see how you were doing."

John narrowed his eyes at her but smiled nevertheless. "We're almost finished now."

And they had. The room smelt, as it would for a few days, if not a week now – she would have to air the room properly later, she thought – but the walls were now a very lively colour, somewhere she could imagine Lizzy and the new baby sleeping in. She knew Lizzy hoped the baby would be a girl, so she could share her dolls with her and introduce her to all sorts of games with them. But of course, none of them minded, as long as they were healthy.

Anna felt herself smiling in giddy anticipation as she thought about the baby. Her hands came to rub her expanded stomach, feeling the baby wriggle around.

"Not sitting still?"

Anna looked up again to see John watching them both, his eyes warm and his smile radiant.

"Not at all," Anna laughed with a playful scowl. "He or she isn't giving me much peace today."

John chuckled, and was about to turn around and continue with the last of the painting when Anna let out a groan and a sigh. His eyes instantly widened, searching hers for some sign that she was all right and that he did not need to go running for Doctor Clarkson.

But once Anna had looked up and noticed his concern, she relieved him of his anxiety, "Nature calls… again. The sooner this baby is here, the better."

John heaved a sigh of relief, and watched as Anna turned around and left the room. He could not help his heart from aching in sheer joy as he watched her waddle – as she did now, and so elegantly as he would have to tell her – away, one hand resting on her huge belly. He could feel the anticipation rising between all of them as they awaited the birth of the baby, it being only three weeks away now.

Doctor Clarkson had told them, realistically, it could be any day now. This only heightened the anxiety John was feeling. He felt it every time their child kicked or moved and Anna would be taken by surprise at its sudden movement, when she sighed and left to go to the bathroom as she just had, and if he would wake in the middle of the night to find her not in their bed but sat beside the window on her dressing table chair, folding the endless supplies of suits for the baby that had either been made, bought or generously given, he would instantly think that the baby might be coming. Anna would reassure him that it was nothing, and that she just could not sleep.

_Probably a sign of things to come_, Anna would say slyly before being persuaded by her husband to come back to bed, his arms wrapping around her as he urged her to try and rest as much as possible.

It was all becoming too much for John to handle. He wanted the baby here with them.

He had been anxious over the last few months, in fact ever since Anna had told him about the pregnancy, about whether he would be a fit and able father. Of course, he would never be able to join in vigorous games with their child and Lizzy, that he had come to accept fairly quickly. But he often feared that he would never be good enough. What if their child did not like him? What if he could never settle their child, or tend to it as Anna would? What if the child hated him, and would grow to resent him?

Of course, Anna had driven away these fears every time she had managed to pry them out of him. She assuaged his fears with stories of him and Lizzy, and how he had very much become a father figure to her, even though both John and Anna regularly talked about her parents and how she felt. Lizzy had begun to overcome the worst stages of her grief a few months ago now, ever since they had planted the tree in the garden, it seemed to have brought some kind of peace for Lizzy. She would go out and sit there, taking a book with her often when she wanted to practice her reading, but she would rarely be upset and the nightmares had all but left her now. She only suffered from them every so often, and even those were often prompted by a bad day at school or a particular memory.

Both John and Anna had thought that over the coming weeks, when the anniversary of Rose's death would be upon them, Lizzy would become upset again, but the excitement over the baby seemed to have occupied her mind for most of the time. They had agreed that as a family, if everything had gone well with the birth and the baby was fit to go with them, that they would go and visit the grave for the anniversary and let Lizzy spend some time there alone. Lizzy had nodded her head and smiled at the idea and had said nothing more about it since, which husband and wife did not know if they found reassuring or alarming.

But Lizzy had given neither of them cause for concern, so they left it.

And as Anna would remind John during his worst times, Lizzy spoke to him often about her mother. Not that she disregarded Anna in that respect – they had spent many hours talking about Rose, and Anna's mother and Lizzy's grandmother – but when John needed the reassurance that he would be a good father, Anna would bring it up and use it to her advantage.

And after her reassurance, he could not contain his excitement. None of them could.

John turned and looked at the walls, smiling as Lizzy started to pile her books against a part of the wall that she had checked was dry first.

He could not wait to meet their baby.

* * *

Anna laughed with Lizzy as flour was sent bellowing up into the air, surrounding them and causing them to cough and splutter simultaneously.

Anna and Lizzy had decided to bake a cake together for John, for no particular reason other than they wanted to. He had gone into Ripon to collect some last minute items before the baby was to be born, and since Anna had exclaimed she was exhausted, her husband was only too happy to see her stay at home with Lizzy for company. She had started to feel slightly tired stood up at their kitchen counter, mixing the ingredients together for their cake, so she had sat down at the kitchen table with Lizzy instead.

"Can we ice it too?" Lizzy asked, some flour still smudged on her nose and cheeks.

Anna smiled and leaned across the table to wipe it away. "Of course we can, I think we still have some in the cupboard from the last time you made one."

The last time had been a cake for Anna on her birthday in June. She had come home to find that Lizzy had made her a cake with the help of Mrs Hatchet (it had been a weekend) and she had soon discovered that John had been the main orchestrator.

Lizzy squealed happily, clapping her hands together as Anna continued to prepare the mixture, occasionally passing it over to her niece to have a go.

"So, shall we think of a reason to give your Uncle John?" Anna knew he would scold them for making one without any reason, even if he would appreciate it all the same.

Lizzy seemed to contemplate this for a moment before coming up with the perfect excuse, "He built my bookcase last week. It can be a thank you cake."

Anna smiled warmly and nodded her head. "A perfect excuse. I know he will love it."

John had spent a long afternoon last weekend building Lizzy a bookcase. Well, it was a book shelf or two, but Lizzy was thrilled at its presence in her bedroom and would wrap her arms around John's legs and hug him as a thank you when she walked past him. Her books sat there now proudly, and she had even exclaimed that the baby could leave its books there when he or she was old enough to have them.

"Can we bake one for the baby too, when it comes?"

"We could," Anna started. "But they won't be able to eat cake for a while yet."

Lizzy seemed a little dejected at the response, and looked down at the table, focusing on the mixture.

"But we could make one anyway, to celebrate?" Anna intervened quickly. "I'm sure he or she will love it all the same. And we can bake one for their first birthday, too."

Lizzy looked up now and her face brightened as she nodded enthusiastically.

"Are you looking forward to being an older cousin?"

Lizzy nodded, smiling happily as she snuck some of the mixture from the edge of the bowl and licked it off her finger, earning a playful scold from her aunt. Anna watched as her face scrunched up a bit, meaning that she was thinking hard about something, before she asked the question on her mind, "Can I be more like a big sister? Because I do live here."

Lizzy asked the question quite timidly, and Anna could feel her heart warm with affection and love.

"I have no doubt the baby will look up to you as a big sister."

Lizzy seemed to brighten up at the idea before continuing to prepare the mixture, soon exclaiming that it was finished. As she and Anna carefully placed the cake into the oven to bake, Anna let one of her hands drift across her back, marvelling at the progress her little niece had made over the past year. She was very much part of their close family now, and she could not wait to meet the newest addition.

* * *

John noticed Anna was starting to look extremely tired. She was probably only a few days from giving birth – Doctor Clarkson had expressed once more that Anna could quite literally go into labour any day now – and the extra weight was beginning to take its effect on her feet especially. She had been forced to adjust a lot of her dresses too to accommodate for her large bump and she would often complain that her back was aching. John would massage it for her at night, rubbing the knots away as Anna let out huge sighs of relief.

But one night, he decided he wanted to spoil her. To surprise her.

He planned with Mrs Lewis, a younger woman who was married to one of the workers who helped on the Grantham farmland, for Anna to go around for a cup of tea and a talk. She had children of her own, twin girls who were just a couple of years younger than Lizzy, and John knew that Anna loved to spend time with them. It would do her good, he thought as he put his plan into action, and he also needed her out of the cottage for at least an hour, maybe more.

Anna knew he was planning something for her, but she had no idea what it was.

John had wanted to come around to the cottage to collect her, but Anna had insisted that he was being ridiculous and that she could walk two doors down. Therefore, just a bit before nine at night (John had told her she could come back after nine, and Mrs Lewis had been all too happy to oblige) she was walking – or waddling – across to their cottage, her curiosity piqued.

She pushed open the front door and locked it behind her before making her way through the cottage, calling out to her husband.

"Just a moment, love." She heard him call from upstairs, before she heard shuffling and the distinct sound of her husband's footsteps coming down the stairs.

He appeared at the bottom of the staircase, a silly, excited grin across his lips.

"Did you have a nice time?" John asked, moving to kiss her on the cheek.

"I did, it was nice of you and Mrs Lewis to arrange it."

"It was our pleasure."

"And now you know I want to know what you've been up to."

John smirked knowingly before offering her his arm, which she took. He led her upstairs wordlessly, walking her to the bathroom before he stopped outside the closed door and gestured for her to step forward and open it.

Anna scrunched up her face in confusion but moved forward, pushing the door open.

She gasped.

Her husband – _her perfect, perfect husband_ – had lit so many candles around the bathroom, creating a beautiful, peaceful glow and had run her a nice, hot bath. She could tell it was still hot, the water still steaming a little. By the looks of it, he had also bought some more of her favourite bath salts and soaps because those were lined up on the floor beside the tub. He had brought a small stool into the bathroom, which had on it a small, poetry book that they had planned to start reading, along with a small glass of wine and some cheese which he had chopped into small pieces.

Anna felt her husband come up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist, letting his hands rest upon her stomach.

"You have felt so tired lately," John murmured into her neck. "You deserve a night to relax."

"John…"

She was speechless.

He was perfect. Her husband was perfect.

"Come on," he beckoned her. "The water will get cold."

Anna let him lead her fully into the bathroom, closing the door behind them. They remained silent as he began to undress her, unbuttoning her dress in a most different way than he usually would in their bedroom. This time it was completely chaste. His main aim was for her to relax.

When he had undressed her completely, he took her hand and helped her into the bath slowly, smiling as she let out a long, content moan as the water enveloped her tired, swollen body.

"This is lovely," Anna murmured.

Her head was resting against the edge of the bath, her eyes closing as she luxuriated in the hot water against her skin. When she opened them and turned her head, she noticed that John had lowered himself to the floor, his chin resting on the side of the bath as he watched her carefully.

He smiled, and the wrinkles around his eyes appeared.

"You look beautiful."

Anna was set to argue and tease that she needed his help to get in and out of this bath, as she usually would, but somehow his eyes begged her not to.

From his point of view, she was a staggering beauty. Her hair was still up as she kept it from getting wet, her skin was glistening because of the water, the candles were casting a glow across her skin that John would never be able to describe, and her large, baby bump was partly above the water, proof of their love and their lives together.

He smiled, rubbing a hand over her stomach as he felt their child move.

A comfortable silence settled between them as their lips moved and connected – a soft kiss; one that did not last long, but still meant so much. When Anna pulled back she smiled at him appreciatively, pulling one of her hands from the water and fixing some of the hair that had fallen across his forehead.

"Here," John gestured to the cheese and the small glass of wine, passing it to Anna who took a sip of the wine before giving it back, taking more of the cheese. She grinned at him. She watched as he picked up the book and began to open it to one of the first pages. "I thought I would read to you for a little while."

Anna smiled, took another piece of cheese and rested her head back, closing her eyes as she began to listen to the voice of her husband as he read to her. It was such a simple routine, but one that she had always enjoyed. They had read together as friends, as courting lovers, as fiancés and now as husband and wife.

It was a mixture of poetry. There was some Dickinson, Hardy, Shakespeare, Burns, Blake, Byron… she enjoyed it all as she listened to John, his voice lulling her into a tranquil mood. She closed her eyes, feeling herself falling asleep when –

"Oh," Anna let out a rather surprised yelp. Her hands went to her stomach instantly as she felt the baby move and kick from inside her. She turned and watched John's reaction from the side of the bath as her lips twitched into a wide grin. "It seems he or she likes the sound of their daddy's voice."

John smiled widely.

"Why don't you join me in here? The hot water will do your knee good, and you know there is enough room."

John opened his mouth to argue but soon found that he had no argument worth hearing. Wordlessly, he slipped out of his clothes, ignoring as Anna feasted her eyes upon his body before she edged forward and he slipped into the water behind her. There was enough room in the bath tub to stretch his legs around her, and when he tapped her on the shoulder she moved back a little, her back coming to rest against his chest as they both sunk lower into the water.

"Read to me a little more," Anna pleaded as her head lulled back against shoulder.

"What if the book gets wet?"

"Then I will buy you another. Besides, the baby likes to hear you read as much as I do."

Anna grinned as her husband fell silent, knowing she had successfully persuaded him. Her suspicions were confirmed as she felt him lean across; wipe his hands briefly on a towel and then pick up the book he had read from before.

She felt him move back, his lips brushing against her ear, "Already you both have me wrapped around your little fingers."

Anna giggled.

"However will you deny us anything in the future?"

John smiled, drawing one of his hands around to rest upon her large bump in reply. The truth was he knew he would never be able to resist the pleas of his child, be it a daughter or a son. Although he somehow knew that should Anna and he be blessed with a daughter, she would have him wrapped around her little finger, and he would never be able to resist her pleas. Heaven help him, if their child was anything like Anna, determined to get her way with him, then he would have no chance whatsoever. Even when Lizzy pleaded him for anything, most of the time another page of the story at night, he would give in.

It seemed John Bates had no control over any of the women in his life.

He began to read to her again, this time another Byron poem. Only this time, she would not be prevented from falling asleep. The baby still moved inside her, probably spurred on by the sound of John's voice. His hand was softly stroking the large swell, easing her into a peaceful sleep.

"_She walks in beauty, like the night  
__Of cloudless climes and starry skies;  
__And all that's best of dark and bright  
__Meet in her aspect and her eyes;  
__Thus mellowed to that tender light  
__Which heaven to gaudy day denies."_

John steered his head to look at Anna, watching as she continued to flutter her eyes closed.

_"One shade the more, one ray the less,  
__Had half impaired the nameless grace  
__Which waves in every raven tress,  
__Or softly lightens o'er her face;  
__Where thoughts serenely sweet express,  
__How pure, how dear their dwelling-place."_

He kissed her temple as her breathing became even. He knew he would have to wake her eventually, but now he simply let her sleep.

_"And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,  
__So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,  
__The smiles that win, the tints that glow,  
__But tell of days in goodness spent,  
__A mind at peace with all below,  
__A heart whose love is innocent!"_

* * *

**A/N (2): ***I read somewhere that Sybil was born in 1898, and will be going with the idea that Robert and John both joined the war almost instantly upon its starting in 1899. Although I am no expert on the Boer War.

Thank you once again to **testship **as always you're awesome.

I didn't want to write the birth of their child. I wrote that sort of scene in my other story so without making the birth highly dramatic – which I didn't want to do – I don't think there's much I can really gain by writing it. I feel quite awkward writing those scenes anyway. I hope this was a nice chapter though, I wanted to write about the three of them spending time together alone before the birth, and this seemed like the ideal opportunity.

The poem is _She Walks in Beauty _by Lord Byron, no real significance except I really like the poem and wanted to include it. Plus, thinking about it read in Brendan's voice makes me feel warm inside. I really want to listen to him read poetry.

This is the second to last chapter. Well, the last chapter. There will be an epilogue posted over the next week or so. Baby Bates will be included in that one. Thank you so much for all the response to this story, it's been overwhelming to me and I've been so happy to see what you guys all think about it. I have lots of ideas floating around my head for new stories, so hopefully it won't be too long before I can post something new. I will be posting a Valentine's fic up here soon as well, it was a prompt on Tumblr for the 'Banna Valentine's Extravaganza' and I'm very excited to finish writing it.


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